Gallbladder's being colicky again. Like the title says, somehow something under your liver can give you chest tension/discomfort/IDEK how to describe it. Its an unpleasant sensation that sits right on top of where your ribs come together that leaves you mentally exhausted after coping with it for hours at a time because even when you know what's causing it, it still kind of feels like you're sort of dying. Just, like, a little concentration of physical anxiety. It's settled down from where it was earlier today while I was at work, but it's still likely going to be another rough night. (Last night I set my alarm for 12 hours after I went to bed. I have no idea how long it took me to fall asleep, but I know I kept waking up, adjusting myself and trying to fall back unconscious, and did that until my alarm went off.)

Moved up my followup doctor's appointment to valentines day (ASAP) and am anticipating the answer is going to be along the lines of "You've handled it as far as you can with diet, now we've gotta deal with it surgically." Eeeeeeeuuugh. I want it to be over but I'm still powerfully afeared of being cut open, even with laparoscopic surgery. I worry that I'm going to have complications. That I'll be in that 10% or so that develops chronic diarrhea or whatnot from it. (I'm already in the minority as a guy dealing with it) That I'll have more serious complications, like my coworker who had gallstones that had already started to pass grow in her ducts and cause an obstruction that needed to be stinted to remove it even after she had it out. That I'll roll a natural 1 and be in that faction of people who have bad reactions to sedation; Its surgery. There's always the chance that I could die. So, not to be morbid or anything, but if you don't hear anything from me for a couple months. :X Here's hoping that those 40 pounds I've lost so far help avoid the risk factors.

And of course there's the financial worries. I'm still presumably covered under my state medicaid (Healthy Indiana Plan) though I just had to refile to update my pay and whatnot (since it's a percentage of your earnings, it'll go up, but will probably still be less than $30 a month, it's an amazing plan) and if I'm rejected for whatever reason (If it somehow gets gutted by all the political bullshittery going on) then... yeah. Fingers crossed it's not going to be something I'm going to be left desperately seeking help with.