This made me cry.
I feel your pain.
It's especially confusing, and hurtful, when the adopt is up for less than $5...

QAQ Awwwww babe -cuddle- no tears. I'm sorry you've been made to feel this way.

*hugs* I'll be okay. Eventually.
In the mean time, I can't even sell adopts for $1.50.=p
I mean, I know I'm no Raptorslut or DeleteTheStars, but it is a little disheartening when I see them selling Stardragons for $50+ and I can't get any interest in a simple $1.50 pony.

But then to add in that someone saying 'If I had the money...' is like 'dude, check your couch cushions.'

And I'm not trying to make this a 'poor me' thing, just using myself as an example that it happens at every level. *shrugs*

Yeah! Or when you see people who are like, 'I wish I had the money...' and then you see that same person dropping a month's paycheck on some other adopt xD

At the end of the day, no comment is better than 'I wish...'

Totally and utterly agreed. *nods emphatically*

This bothered me once but I let it go. Much like the comparison comments that used to boil me. I hope I word this correctly but I let it all pass. When it comes to money I remind myself that the world is facing it's hardest economic crisis still ongoing and isn't my fault. When it comes to creativity there's literally billions of creative mind all looking to nature and media to draw inspiration and create from. Unless it's an actual attack, I let it go. I've been told since day one it's not anyone else's duty to check my self esteem. It's not the viewers job to censor their thoughts and opinions as much as I'd like to not hear them.

Whenever I hear this comment I just say thank you or nothing at all. I think of it as I have interested buyers! Maybe when they can do better for themselves I'll have customers too. Sure it hurts and sure artists can be in a bad way trying their hardest to stay aloft. And I know this complaint came from likely a place of repetitive offence. But it's gotten to the point with me that it hurts worse to make the quiet readers of things like this silence and distance themselves further thinking they're annoying or there's more invisible harm being done they may already be afraid of. It's not the artist's job to maintain their fan's wellbeing either but you can't really put it out there expecting only one kind of comment. Otherwise you'll only ever have your friends comment, which may sustain you and that's fine. It's just all too often that the cost is unseen.

Blah blah blah alienation is dangerous blah blah we all cry at a night blah blah shut up spade.

I'll comment better once I'm out of the funeral home! But this isn't alienation I don't feel? This is my attempt to show when this is said in repetition, it can be hurtful. As Willow has proven above. You have managed to not let it phase you! And congrats to that, but not everyone has. I'm not saying don't comment! I'm just saying that be mindful what you say. Just leave a compliment, good wishes, some comment that isn't lamenting about your own financial issues because the post/ journal being made isn't a platform for those woes.

I never said it doesn't phase me, and I know full well how much repetition hurts. You can full well be bothered by it but I've seen all too many time that people actually start dictacting, laughing at, and snide talking about people who don't always understand these types of comments aren't welcome. Some hide every comment that isn't regarding sales to deter these things, or lock the ability to comment at all leaving sales to go through notes. I'm not saying these are bad things. They're examples of people trying to deal with that lack of control. Its just like your other journal about fa craziness. You can't control it but you can try to manage it and cope.

Idk. It's not acknowledgable damage to me, so I guess that's where I draw the line. They're saying if I had cash I'd be stuffing it in your pants all day like you wouldn't believe. Which to me is a compliment. These people aren't insulting your prices or coming up to you to ask when you're going to do something right for once in your life or telling you to put your effort where it really matters or nitpicking every single stroke on your art pieces or dropping them in the trash or burning them. The intention is pure, not hurtful. These people aren't bullies they're just hard on life and if they're autistic they actually cannot recognize when a comment is inappropriate or unwanted.

So on one hand the comment can suck but on the other it's not the worst thing you could experience. And believe me there are more people complaining about fan comments then there are fans complaining about artists pulling some of the things mentioned above. And from what I've seen if they are they get logically explained why it happens and are expected to either accept it or move on because to them the word of the day is the artists don't have to pander to you. That kinda what I was getting at with the alienation thing. They do it amongst themselves enough. Artists turn inwards, fans turn outwards. So each others griefs aren't always seen even if they interact on a regular basis.

Alright back from funeral home so can reply to this.

Here I'm not dictating, being snide, or being cruel in any way though. I even point out I'm at fault for doing the same, but also explaining that it can hurt, and saying how it can. I'm not saying 'don't do this', but suggesting it may be better to consider the weight of what you're saying before you say it. And sometimes people just straight up don't know, like Thelittlehamster mentioned below. I get that! And I said that in the journal- people don't mean it to be harmful, and I know that. But with or without repetition, it can hurt. I'm explaining how, and suggesting better means.

I'm not saying that people are terrible, or bullies, or have some alternative motives. No one commenting here is saying that either, but that this is how they feel- and whether or not the person is meaning it, this is still how the person feels with that comment.

I'm not sure if we just have a bad way of connecting and either read into things incorrectly, or have a difficult time conveying how we feel or what we mean between each other, but I feel nervous speaking with you a lot. :( Like I'm being over analyzed and need to defend myself, because I feel as if whenever I speak with you, whatever I say will be scrutinized and no matter how I word something, at the end of the day, I'll only be heard as being negative by you.

I'm sorry. I'll unfollow and leave for good this time then. I'm not making exuses when I say this, but it's likely I speak that way because that's how I've been talked to all these years. I can only physically speak to one person and one misused words could end in fights or insults and belittlement. I try to speak generally instead of at a person as a result but, I'm truly sorry. I'll no longer toxicify the lives of you, ryn, or itchy.

I'm not telling you to unfollow me nor am I saying you're toxic. That's a very strong word. I'm just explaining to you how how you come at me like this makes me feel like idk. I'm always being judged/everything I say upsets you.

I'm sorry your history has caused you to be like this, I just personally can't handle this sort of talk. :(

Not going to bombard you with a bunch of info, since there's a lot of convo going on, but I just wanted to pipe in as someone who is autistic I really appreciate these kinds of journals for breaking down how something might be hurtful/harmful so it can easily be applied to future interactions. People who are autistic don't get enough credit for being able to interpret situations with cognitive processing. Knowing "why" something is inappropriate or unwanted is a great tool! :D

I'd also like to add that I used to be in this realm of "I need to tolerate the world" attitude that I think you're getting at here? But after a long life of experiences I've learned it's okay to ask the world to change too, nicely, which I think this is doing. Communication is a great tool and people can educate each other about their personal experiences and interpretations. :D It doesn't have to mean anyone is bad or bullies, just "hey I don't like this it bugs me" is okay. Conflicts don't have to result in the extremes we generally and socially associate them with.

It's mostly a straws and camels back thing. I know I understand and take the comments as compliments, but it does wear on me subconsciously after a while. I'm going to keep going sure, but it instills a unspoken guilt over my prices under the surface.

Okay, I don't believe I can comment further without going into psychology but I'll try. We as artists have a highly mental job, I don't need to tell you this really but what nedds to be understood is that we draw from that same pool for our commissions as we do ourselves. Our inspirations, emotions regarding our product, possible self value tied to performance, etc. Its all in the same pool. So I understand fully how a plethora of the same comment reaches deeper in than say a salesman who while still needs to sell based on their perfomance, can still go home and use their own pool to decompress or indulge. I say all of this because it means being an artist means micromanaging your own pscyche, which is a lot of work. Even more so if you're mentally ill or predisposed (sensitive natured). Doubts and guilt can easily turn into blame, and most artists either put it on the target or themselves. With all the communities voices going towards a good artist giving good customer service, it all too often falls on the self and can over time damage the psyche.

SO, what to do about that? Your best bet is to learn to cope with it as you would anything else. Rest, turn to support, decompress, do things that make you feel good. Remove the focus from the self and the action. Over time eventually you'll become desensitized because you'll realize that hey, it has nothing to do with that at all. And sometimes you need to bring in a dash of cognitive behavioral therapy and look at yourself and say that. Out loud. Its not my fault. This has nothing to do with that really. I'm doing what's right for me to survive and that's okay. That's fully valid. Actually reason with yourself. Give yourself the credit that this feels sucky but it doesn't have to do with me. I'm not the employers making these people sad. I'm not the companies not paying attention to their needs. I'm not the reason the economy is as bad as it is. I'm doing what's best for myself and that's okay.

And then you reward yourself a little. For me that's a bit of tea and chocolate while joking with my friend while saying to myself that I know I can do better. I know I can survive this. And eventually this will work out for the both of us, regsrdless of if I believe it or not. I hope this helps haha. I probably am going too far again.

sadly this is the truth about some people granted im kinda poor i do have money to spend here and there once in awhile but some artists are just too high in price and i cant afford their stuff anymore which sucks for me so i end up having to find cheaper artists that i can aford cause my main budget is less than $50 and once in awhile i will treat myself to something nice by buying something from someone but its just prices for me and some of your art is just wonderful sweety dont take it wrong alot of people want to buy your art trust me

0u0/ The majority of the art in my gallery isn't mine and just stuff I commission. I'm not upset that people do that to me, just making comment in response to the artists I hear who are upset by hearing "I wish I had the money" over and over again. (Especially when the art/ journal has like six comments and all they are are 'I wish I had...' comments.

I totally get we all have our money struggles! And it sucks majorly :'( I wish you luck.

ive sinned of saying that a few times >>
tbh i never thought much of it , i never looked at it like that

And that's understandable! Like I'm 100% sure people don't say that with the thought of being mean. Which is why I made this journal. Like, I'm also sure not all artists are upset when people say such things either, just a lot of artists I know don't like it. So this journal was now just to bring awareness? In hopes of lessening it or something.

I've had people say that to me before when I was offering $1 commissions years ago. That shit was hurtful as hell. Like, yeah, you don't mean anything by it, just trying to show support, but... $1? Too expensive? At that point, it comes off as very much an intentional slight, for how severely low the prices were. Times are hard, and sure, there are ruder ways to phrase it, but it still often sounds as though it boils down to "this is too expensive, and not worth the investment" no matter what the intention of the comment is.

It's the same principle as a joke that misfires--you meant it to be funny, but it was still received in a hurtful way, which then makes it hurtful. Well-intentioned or no, "When a person tells you you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't."

I remember when Ryn used to do adopts and such for a dollar. I wonder if she ever got the same. Man tho, I can't believe people pulled that over one dang dollar.

That last line is really poetic uwu <3

As mentioned in the comment above I think this is especially hurtful if the amount is extremely low. The 'I wish I had money ($1)' becomes 'I don't think your art is worth trying to dig up $1'. Because let's be honest, it's not difficult to find a small sum of money like that, borrow it, etc. At that point, it's read like the person isn't complaining about money, they're complaining about the fact that whatever art is on the table isn't worth working to find that money for.

I've had commissioners who have said some variation on this that was actually constructive: i.e. 'I don't have the money for this in my budget but I'm going to try and find it, if I do, I will be back to buy if not good luck selling' and then actually follow through on that days or weeks later. There's also the option of asking the artist to do a hold for you until you *do* have the money, asking for a payment plan, etc. so if you were serious about wanting that thing there are definitely ways to go about working with the artist.


Commissioners who actually make an effort to get something they really want that may not be in their budget I appreciate and am totally willing to work with, but the 'Wow I wish I had the money for this' is just not constructive at all and generally comes off like 'I don't have the money for this and I don't find it worth looking for the money for this either'.

Holds are hard because I know for Deletethestars at least, she'll do a hold then a week later the persons like 'I'll be able to pay you in a week!' ... then a week goes by and they're like 'oh nvm, I don't want it anymore lol' and it's like 8I Well way to build me up then drop me from the roof. Or someone does a payment plan and then halfway through it it's like, 'nvm I don't want this' and you're left floundering because not only is it not being bought, but now you have to refund that money (Which is apparently real fuckin' difficult with invoices? So I've heard)

But to the people who are legitimate, it's nice. And I mean, the people who were originally gunning for something and said no in the end probably have their good reasons, but it doesn't make that hurt any less in the end.

But ye, A+ to everything you said uwu(\ ty for your input!

Ye, agreed there. That's why it's best to have protections in your ToS, various things about refunds and etc. I think if I were to regularly take payment plans, refunds past a certain point wouldn't be allowed even if they wanted to back out. All in all, anything except 'I want this and I have the money, gimme plz' can be really frustrating, I especially feel for suitmakers because I think they get the most of this on account of dealing often with thousands of dollars per client x__x

i feel this on SO many levels omg.
thats why i try to tell the artist exactly what you said 'oh good luck selling!'
or 'i know these will go fast! '

Yeah it's no bueno :'< If it was once in a blue moon, that'd be fine? Hell, I'm sure no one would really think about it... but when you have at least one person say it for every adopt/commission post, and sometimes it pops up multiple times, it's just like 'uurrhhhggddhsasdfgh'

Yeah I definitely get the like sudden charge guilt, it's such a silly thing but there's so much pressure put on how much artist's price their work. Like, not even just "it's too high" then if you go to low it's like "YOU'RE NOT CHARGING ENOUGH, YOU'RE RUINING THE MARKET FOR EVERYONE" it's just like jesus there is no right way to price anything. 8I when I get nervous about it I make auctions because it's like haha it goes as high as it goes and whatever it lands on WHO CARES.