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A confession
8 years ago
"Don't let the world decide how you are seen and heard, that is up to you" -Zeto
"I don't know what I'm not capable of, so nothing is stopping me from trying everything"-Zebbo
"I don't know what I'm not capable of, so nothing is stopping me from trying everything"-Zebbo
I've suffered self inflicted mental abuse for years, there was never a problem with my family, I've never been a failure and there was nobody bullying me.
I'm a mess, a fucking dumpster fire of a person and I go out of my way to make myself feel awful, my depression was MY fault as is the fact that I don't improve at art. I've been the only thing in my way and I hate it but I can't stop it's gone on for far too long, it feel normal to me, it's what I expect from myself, I'm just garbage and everyone should know that. I seriously need help but the major question is do I actually deserve it?
I'm free to do what I want with my life and yet I'm completely trapped by me, this hateful person who pushes people away, people who try to show me the truth that I'm apparently not bad but I don't believe them, I can't believe them. My life has fallen apart and I'm to blame, but why do I do this? that's something even I cannot answer, it drives me insane trying to figure out what's wrong with me but I learn that EVERYTHING is wrong and nothing could be right. I further hate myself because I've gotten used to this horrible trial of a life I constantly put myself through, I need help but I'm not sure if I'll ever go get help, I'm just too used to my prison.
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