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wanna to simply be me...
8 years ago
some say I am crazy, and I'd say that they're at least half right.
Oh, you're not back on this again, are you? why not simply revert to being me? if you don't want to be what you've become.
Oh right, like I want to go backward? or back to always acting like a slutty selfish piece of shit!
if the cap fits, it's better to just wear it, than to fight against it. ... or me.
I will always fight against it, that's not me anymore! really it's not? No, it's not. Says who? Me, I do, by my choice, it's not! Just as is fighting to control you, since you're what got me that way before!
and being that way before, wasn't fun? didn't we get to feast at the tables of perversions back then? and we also got to starve there too, or have you really chosen so easily to have forgotten that too?
I forgot nothing, I remember and make you remember every single feast that we had! and make me remember every single one that I touched, that I loved, that I Lost! you simply choose not to feel that part of it, don't you, you never did! you only loved the acts and the bodies! never the minds or people that I hurt and used! how I wish that you'd just stayed there and been forgotten, or died!
Oh, right! blame me, go ahead, as if I am not you! I am just as much you, as you are you now! I am - No, you are not! as I don't let you be me! I name you, and control you! Sure you do. I don't need your permission to have a vile thought, a lustful look, a long full craving, through your eyes and within your mind! you might as well try to cut out part of your own brain or your own heart!"... even now! your Lion talks about BDSM, and who of us is he talking to about that! but, me? you know it! admit it, I am what keeps him interested in you!
He loves me! he only tolerates you! Keep telling yourself that, though remember he'll ask for me to Dom him through you! he'll want to use me through you, when he'll long to inflict pain and over stimulation on someone! and that someone will be me! never forget that!
I wish that I could forget you! I hate you! Then you hate yourself! is that why you pierce yourself? *pokes Leo's fresh belly button piercing.* Don't! you like the pain, the pleasure, the perversion of it all, just as much as I do! where did you think that I got that from? if not from you! every feeling of yours is my pleasure! you'll never be rid of me!
Be that as it may! but I don't have to indulge you, for myself, I can leave you only to be a part of me that is for him to play with, if and when he wants to do so and nothing more! I don't need you, I don't want you! be gone! *lobs an icy bolt at the shadow without any warning.*
*only to have it smash harmlessly into the nearest wall, as the shadow had been quick to have faded away, leaving only his laugh behind echoing in the lion's mind.*
Damn you, Shadow, damn me for letting you stay!
Oh right, like I want to go backward? or back to always acting like a slutty selfish piece of shit!
if the cap fits, it's better to just wear it, than to fight against it. ... or me.
I will always fight against it, that's not me anymore! really it's not? No, it's not. Says who? Me, I do, by my choice, it's not! Just as is fighting to control you, since you're what got me that way before!
and being that way before, wasn't fun? didn't we get to feast at the tables of perversions back then? and we also got to starve there too, or have you really chosen so easily to have forgotten that too?
I forgot nothing, I remember and make you remember every single feast that we had! and make me remember every single one that I touched, that I loved, that I Lost! you simply choose not to feel that part of it, don't you, you never did! you only loved the acts and the bodies! never the minds or people that I hurt and used! how I wish that you'd just stayed there and been forgotten, or died!
Oh, right! blame me, go ahead, as if I am not you! I am just as much you, as you are you now! I am - No, you are not! as I don't let you be me! I name you, and control you! Sure you do. I don't need your permission to have a vile thought, a lustful look, a long full craving, through your eyes and within your mind! you might as well try to cut out part of your own brain or your own heart!"... even now! your Lion talks about BDSM, and who of us is he talking to about that! but, me? you know it! admit it, I am what keeps him interested in you!
He loves me! he only tolerates you! Keep telling yourself that, though remember he'll ask for me to Dom him through you! he'll want to use me through you, when he'll long to inflict pain and over stimulation on someone! and that someone will be me! never forget that!
I wish that I could forget you! I hate you! Then you hate yourself! is that why you pierce yourself? *pokes Leo's fresh belly button piercing.* Don't! you like the pain, the pleasure, the perversion of it all, just as much as I do! where did you think that I got that from? if not from you! every feeling of yours is my pleasure! you'll never be rid of me!
Be that as it may! but I don't have to indulge you, for myself, I can leave you only to be a part of me that is for him to play with, if and when he wants to do so and nothing more! I don't need you, I don't want you! be gone! *lobs an icy bolt at the shadow without any warning.*
*only to have it smash harmlessly into the nearest wall, as the shadow had been quick to have faded away, leaving only his laugh behind echoing in the lion's mind.*
Damn you, Shadow, damn me for letting you stay!
now, trying to get truly away from that person is stressful. though, after this coming 24th, I most likely will finally do that legally, and then there'll only be my lust left to reason with.