I mean, wasn't I always depressed? Not really, I mean, the con is coming up in ten days, and I have to go, I can't not go, it's not that I'm forcing myself... I just don't know what to think right now because I just went through something terrible today, like... It blew my mind, and I don't know what to do anymore... I can't let it affect me too much, but I'm trying so hard to move forward...