wait what? What even is this? XD (also sucks you don't got internet! D: Hope you get it sooner than ten days!)

THE PRODUCT OF SEVERE GRADE A BOREDOM

EH alright~*Bends over, bites lip and prepares for the worst~*

*sheds robe, bends over, gives her bare as a firm slap and a shake*

*Uncorks the oil bottle*

What're your qualifications? <3

*pulls a head-sized plug with a small empty barbel tied to the end out of her hat. She gets about 50 pounds of weight on the end before sinking it in straight into her ass and gyrating it around like it's hardly anything*

Somebody write that down and fetch me a video camera, we've got a new po- video series!

Also, get me a bigger bottle of oil.

And a much, much stronger casting couch. <3

*chuckles* You're going to have quite the adventure, I can tell ya that~

Get your ass on Discord then! :V

I'M MOBILE RIGHT NOW OKAY

My thumbs can only do so much before they get bored and go in search of thumb wars. >:V

Bitch please!

Do you want fries with that?

I hope you like fries up your ASS.

That's a waste of good fries. D:

And a waste of GOOD ASS.

You looking for big booty pics? :o

ALWAYS

Well, almost always. ;a;

Can't tell how many times IO've offered gobbo or bee butts :v

*ASSumes the position* >u>

Someone's earnt bareback!

Is there any other way? *twerks*

Plenty. But for now, face down ass up! <3

*obeys* miss ya too boss!

If this hasn't been drawn yet, it should ;d~

I recently moved as well...when I signed up for new internet, the closest install time selectable was a few days out. Went on their website, got into live chat, and explained to them the wait was undesirable (granted, this was after their local office wouldn't even return my calls about getting it setup...) and the online rep was able to get me an install date the next day. Was pleasantly surprised. Might be lucky for you if you try as well! x3

*big fatty lion wobbles in*

Are you replacing me? D:

*shoves a certain yellow shark in the door and books it before she murders a meerkat*

Welp, might as well send in ass-zilla o'er here.

"I think I might be too small and not squishy enough for his liking." Bitch, you're a shapeshifter because it's personally convenient to me, as a lazy dolt of a RP writer, to have you as such. You can get as big and thick as he goddamn well wants you to.

"Yeah, but that's cheating and some people call bullshit on that." When the fuck did you start caring about cheating?

"When you plot-contrivanced me out of the hyper-ludicrous death-universe of the campaign setting I originated from because you wanted to keep playing me and do some lewd stuff on the side because the campaign was, as ever, on a hiatus?"

Fuck you for being correct and fuck you for telling them all of that. Now get in there and show this whore-loving dorkus your ass.

"Hmph... Fine, but only if I get to slut it up with the renamon. It's March after all." That's up to him, not me. Now hike up that sweater, take off those pants, and show.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22480034/

Was that so fuckin' hard?

"You just pasted a link you lazy shit! You didn't even try to describe the soft, pillowy fatty tissue overlaid on powerful, toned muscle, the smooth, silky scales of my cheeks or soft, cushy flesh of my cute puffy butthole! You just posted a pic, an OLD pic, and said 'hurr good enough durr i'm an insomniac pervert who's trying to sell out for attention!' God dammit, don't you have any pride or real confidence?"

Of course not. That's why I'm writing this as a bizarre dialogue between character and narrator.

"You're a hack." And you're a puppet. And I'm an idiot for thinking this is funny, but hey, Sunk-Cost Fallacy go!

*post*

*Peels the thong off her biiIIIiiig tubby bottom and hangs it off your pimp cane... only to reveal a bottle of baby oil hOT DOGGING BETWEEN HER CHEEKS OMG~! DUN DUNNN DAAAAHH~!*

Fat ass and a magician~!! C:< <3

*Also huggles your brains out because I miss yo' fuzzybutt <3*

I miss you also. ;_;

When I get back online it's HEAD DOWN ASS UP FUCKTIME, OTTSKI. <3

Forealsies. <3

AwwWWrrrh!! *Gives you like the BIGGEST fat Ootahbootah snuggles of all time*!! ;////;!!

We so need snuggles and catch ups <3 And like you can put your pimp
cane in my butt so it doesn't get all lonely!! <3 (I'll let you decide if I'm talking
about your kitty junk or not :D! XDDDDD <333 OMG I MISS YEW ;_______; <3)

Omg YIS!!!!! >U< <333 I might bring out some of my newer and delightfully thicc'er
bimbo bubblebutts while we're catching up~ <3 Nothing more wonderful than going
baallllls deep into the introductions!! <33

(Omg my brain turns up the slooot when I'm around yew ;O; C(/////X!!!!! <333)

Turn it up to 11!

C'mon, I can take it. c;

*Puts on the pimp hat*

...OH YOU'LL BE TAKING IT~! <3

XDDDDDDDDDD!!! <3333333~! Omg couldn't resist!

And when we're both on SL sooo gonna crank it up to 30! >:3c <3!

THAT'S MY GIRL

I better start training to take on your big fat ass!

COME HELP ME STRETCH OUT MY HAMS