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KD rambles about a 24-year-old game that nobody's played
8 years ago
That's right. It's time for me to talk about Conquered Kingdoms again. I once did a video Friday Fun Fact on it. That was fun. It's still here, if you want to watch again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJkxKFgCnuQ
In that video, I talked about how awesome dragons are. Dragons are awesome. But when I gave the game another spin just the other day, it only confirmed that certain other units are dreadfully overpowered, and that the AI is still really awful. In the single battle I played, I wiped the AI's army completely off the map just a couple of turns before the game ended.
Some years ago, I wanted to write a guide for the game. I wrote a few words, but stopped from a combination of it being an OLD GAME, and I wanted to make it too in-depth.
But see, I like thinking about these things. It's what I do. I think about everything, all the time. So wouldn't it be cool if I recapped the units of Conquered Kingdoms right now? Say "Yes, KD. It would be the most awesome thing ever. It would be even cooler if you gave them ratings out of 10."
That's a great idea, guys. I'll do it.
Swordsman (2 gold): These guys are terrible. They only have 2 move points, are strong only against Lancers, and get one-shotted by just about everything else. Now, you might say, "But KD, they only cost 2 gold! Surely they are all but guaranteed to pay for themselves."
Not if enemy Archers or Catapults are around, grasshopper. 2/10.
Lancer (2): Despite also being horrible, Lancers have traits that Swordsmen don't. To wit, they have 3 move points, hard-counter cavalry, and still at least pay for their paltry cost most of the time. They do zero damage against some of the advanced units, but that's not usually a huge issue. 8/10.
Boat (3): They're useless in combat. They barely hurt anything and barely anything hurts them back. They're only for transporting other units across water, but they're kind of a waste. Wouldn't you rather have a tiny Dragon? 3/10.
Archer (3): Although they get one-shotted in most matchups, the fact that they can fire arrows from 2 range, and attack back in melee means that they usually pay for themselves against anything except Knights/Gargoyles (who are immune to arrows), Cavalry (who can run up and kick them too fast), and Catapults (who outrange and outdamage them). Also, they only do 4 damage to most targets, but they do 8(!) against Dragons. Not cool! 8/10.
Knight (4): Overpowered. Overpowered. Overpowered. Whereas the cheaper units pay for themselves in the right situation, the Knight always pays for himself, and often does better. The Knight has the distinction of being the only 8-health unit that takes only 4 damage from everything except the Wizard's fireball spell. On top of that, he's immune to archers, and does 8 damage against Dragons. That's just not right. The only real cost-for-cost counter is to pelt them with Catapults or lots and lots of Dragons. Dragons are more of a classic. 10/10.
Catapult (4): Although they can't fight back in melee and are easily destroyed, catapults have a 3-tile range, matched only by Wizards. They cannot hurt Cavalry, but do at least some damage to everything else, and a lot of damage to Archers and Gargoyles. 9/10, but keep some Lancers handy.
Rog (4): They're cheap. They're amphibious. They're useless, except maybe for capturing a town across water at minimal cost. Even the AI knows to not use them. 2/10.
Cavalry (5): For a mere 1 gold additional, you get a Knight with 5 move points. Whaaaat? Okay, so they can be damaged by archers and are helpless against Lancers and Trolls (except for, y'know, outrunning them), but still. 9/10, docked one point only because the AI fields way too many Lancers.
Troll (7): They have almost the exact same stats as Lancers, but with more health and a slow regeneration ability. There is no situation where three-and-a-half Lancers are worse. 1/10.
Ogre (7): Ogres seem pretty good. They move fast on hills (which is great on the two maps that have hills). They have double the normal health. They have a 1-tile ranged attack. They do good damage against a lot of stuff. All of this means nothing because Knights and Cavalry, already two of the best units, will murder them. 3/10.
Gargoyle (8): These guys are pretty decent. They fly, have a lot of health, and take only 4 damage against everything except Catapults and Dragons. They're a good cheap substitute for Dragons on a water heavy map. 7/10.
Spy (9): A unit with 6 move points and 6 sight range (both double that of most units) is a cute idea on larger maps and longer games, but only against real players. The AI has too much tendency to just spam weaker units. The Spy's combat abilities are cost-effective only against Catapults (so what?), Phantoms (which the AI almost never uses), and Royalty (campaign only; catapults work too). 4/10.
Phantom (15): This is a support unit that reduces the attack power of all enemy units (except Dragons! ... and Phantoms) in a 3-tile radius by half. The AI almost never uses Phantoms, and certainly not in their ideal situation -- in the middle of a giant battle. They could also be good against a Knight swarm, but the AI usually spreads its units out on bigger maps. Phantoms really just exist to keep players honest in a sentient vs. sentient matchup. 5/10.
Wizard (20): These guys are pretty crazy in the right spot. Although they do only 4 damage against pretty much everything, they can attack from three tiles out and nothing will one-shot them. They also get a mana reserve for spells, of which Teleport (7 mana) and Fireball (9 mana) are best. Fireball is great for annihilating groups, whereas Teleport is great in the middle of a match for bringing attack squads right to where they're needed. 9/10.
Dragon (20): 32 health (twice that of Gargoyles/Ogres). 4 move points. Flying. Doesn't fear Phantoms. 8 damage to pretty much everything. 2-tile range. Can bombard castles. They can attack two enemies at a time if those enemies are in the same tile. I think some game designer liked dragons a bit. That's someone with good flavor. I mean taste. 11/10.
And those are the units of Conquered Kingdoms. Honestly, you can win against top-level AI just with Knights, Archers, Catapults, and a smattering of other units in support.
Depending on how much gold you start with for deployment, you can add more Dragons to suit your desired taste. I mean flavor.
In that video, I talked about how awesome dragons are. Dragons are awesome. But when I gave the game another spin just the other day, it only confirmed that certain other units are dreadfully overpowered, and that the AI is still really awful. In the single battle I played, I wiped the AI's army completely off the map just a couple of turns before the game ended.
Some years ago, I wanted to write a guide for the game. I wrote a few words, but stopped from a combination of it being an OLD GAME, and I wanted to make it too in-depth.
But see, I like thinking about these things. It's what I do. I think about everything, all the time. So wouldn't it be cool if I recapped the units of Conquered Kingdoms right now? Say "Yes, KD. It would be the most awesome thing ever. It would be even cooler if you gave them ratings out of 10."
That's a great idea, guys. I'll do it.
Swordsman (2 gold): These guys are terrible. They only have 2 move points, are strong only against Lancers, and get one-shotted by just about everything else. Now, you might say, "But KD, they only cost 2 gold! Surely they are all but guaranteed to pay for themselves."
Not if enemy Archers or Catapults are around, grasshopper. 2/10.
Lancer (2): Despite also being horrible, Lancers have traits that Swordsmen don't. To wit, they have 3 move points, hard-counter cavalry, and still at least pay for their paltry cost most of the time. They do zero damage against some of the advanced units, but that's not usually a huge issue. 8/10.
Boat (3): They're useless in combat. They barely hurt anything and barely anything hurts them back. They're only for transporting other units across water, but they're kind of a waste. Wouldn't you rather have a tiny Dragon? 3/10.
Archer (3): Although they get one-shotted in most matchups, the fact that they can fire arrows from 2 range, and attack back in melee means that they usually pay for themselves against anything except Knights/Gargoyles (who are immune to arrows), Cavalry (who can run up and kick them too fast), and Catapults (who outrange and outdamage them). Also, they only do 4 damage to most targets, but they do 8(!) against Dragons. Not cool! 8/10.
Knight (4): Overpowered. Overpowered. Overpowered. Whereas the cheaper units pay for themselves in the right situation, the Knight always pays for himself, and often does better. The Knight has the distinction of being the only 8-health unit that takes only 4 damage from everything except the Wizard's fireball spell. On top of that, he's immune to archers, and does 8 damage against Dragons. That's just not right. The only real cost-for-cost counter is to pelt them with Catapults or lots and lots of Dragons. Dragons are more of a classic. 10/10.
Catapult (4): Although they can't fight back in melee and are easily destroyed, catapults have a 3-tile range, matched only by Wizards. They cannot hurt Cavalry, but do at least some damage to everything else, and a lot of damage to Archers and Gargoyles. 9/10, but keep some Lancers handy.
Rog (4): They're cheap. They're amphibious. They're useless, except maybe for capturing a town across water at minimal cost. Even the AI knows to not use them. 2/10.
Cavalry (5): For a mere 1 gold additional, you get a Knight with 5 move points. Whaaaat? Okay, so they can be damaged by archers and are helpless against Lancers and Trolls (except for, y'know, outrunning them), but still. 9/10, docked one point only because the AI fields way too many Lancers.
Troll (7): They have almost the exact same stats as Lancers, but with more health and a slow regeneration ability. There is no situation where three-and-a-half Lancers are worse. 1/10.
Ogre (7): Ogres seem pretty good. They move fast on hills (which is great on the two maps that have hills). They have double the normal health. They have a 1-tile ranged attack. They do good damage against a lot of stuff. All of this means nothing because Knights and Cavalry, already two of the best units, will murder them. 3/10.
Gargoyle (8): These guys are pretty decent. They fly, have a lot of health, and take only 4 damage against everything except Catapults and Dragons. They're a good cheap substitute for Dragons on a water heavy map. 7/10.
Spy (9): A unit with 6 move points and 6 sight range (both double that of most units) is a cute idea on larger maps and longer games, but only against real players. The AI has too much tendency to just spam weaker units. The Spy's combat abilities are cost-effective only against Catapults (so what?), Phantoms (which the AI almost never uses), and Royalty (campaign only; catapults work too). 4/10.
Phantom (15): This is a support unit that reduces the attack power of all enemy units (except Dragons! ... and Phantoms) in a 3-tile radius by half. The AI almost never uses Phantoms, and certainly not in their ideal situation -- in the middle of a giant battle. They could also be good against a Knight swarm, but the AI usually spreads its units out on bigger maps. Phantoms really just exist to keep players honest in a sentient vs. sentient matchup. 5/10.
Wizard (20): These guys are pretty crazy in the right spot. Although they do only 4 damage against pretty much everything, they can attack from three tiles out and nothing will one-shot them. They also get a mana reserve for spells, of which Teleport (7 mana) and Fireball (9 mana) are best. Fireball is great for annihilating groups, whereas Teleport is great in the middle of a match for bringing attack squads right to where they're needed. 9/10.
Dragon (20): 32 health (twice that of Gargoyles/Ogres). 4 move points. Flying. Doesn't fear Phantoms. 8 damage to pretty much everything. 2-tile range. Can bombard castles. They can attack two enemies at a time if those enemies are in the same tile. I think some game designer liked dragons a bit. That's someone with good flavor. I mean taste. 11/10.
And those are the units of Conquered Kingdoms. Honestly, you can win against top-level AI just with Knights, Archers, Catapults, and a smattering of other units in support.
Depending on how much gold you start with for deployment, you can add more Dragons to suit your desired taste. I mean flavor.
Hmm. This journal is now approved. :>
Especially best flavor. I mean taste.