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Sorry.
16 years ago
General
Okay... I kind of lied in my last journal. Well, I did and I didn't. I was pretty positive and hopeful as I started writing it, but I was pretty much in tears by the end. I know, you're probably thinking, "SUCK IT UP, TIGERS DON'T CRY," but apparently, I'm a lot more human than I thought. As we speak, I'm fighting a horrible urge to sit in a corner and blast emo music. I hate this, it feels like half of me is missing. And... I'm pretty much whining now, so I'm gonna cut the shit.
On a somewhat lighter note, it seems that I'm not as allergic to cats as I once was. I was in a house full of cats, and had neglected to take my allergy medicine, and I felt okay. A little short of breath, but fine. I only noticed when my bestestest friend in New York turned to me and said, "I'm surprised you're still alive." Haha, I love that girl tons, in the most platonic way possible.
Also, I got a good night's sleep for the first time in a week. I slept for nine hours, on a bed that I shared with someone I miss very much. Dammit, it's like I'm mourning the loss of my mother, that's how broken I feel. I'm not a drug addict, I don't do the alcohol thing, and I DEFINITELY will never resort to self mutilation, so there's no cure for this. Just... waiting. Dammit, I'm doing that whining thing again. Let's move on...
To... TABLETS! I'm definitely getting one. If all goes according to plan, I should be ordering one next week at some point. It's gonna be awesome, I'm going to art my ass off! And it's going to be of an exponentially greater quality than most of my stuff has been up 'til this point. Maybe, just maybe, I'll actually be able to start doing backgrounds even! It's something I've always neglected to do, mainly because I both fail at Photoshop, and can't draw stationary objects all that well. Well, I can, but they look strange. I could draw a Gamecube, and show the picture to someone, and they would say, "That is the worst drawing of a pizza box I have ever seen." I've decided that the first thing I'm gonna draw when I get the tablet is a new icon. The one I have now seems a little... dated. It doesn't show my current level of skill, or the "style" I've developed, if you can even call it that.
Well, that's all for now. I can feel the urge to whine rearing it's ugly head, so I'm gonna stop typing. Any second now. And... bam. There it goes. I stopped.
On a somewhat lighter note, it seems that I'm not as allergic to cats as I once was. I was in a house full of cats, and had neglected to take my allergy medicine, and I felt okay. A little short of breath, but fine. I only noticed when my bestestest friend in New York turned to me and said, "I'm surprised you're still alive." Haha, I love that girl tons, in the most platonic way possible.
Also, I got a good night's sleep for the first time in a week. I slept for nine hours, on a bed that I shared with someone I miss very much. Dammit, it's like I'm mourning the loss of my mother, that's how broken I feel. I'm not a drug addict, I don't do the alcohol thing, and I DEFINITELY will never resort to self mutilation, so there's no cure for this. Just... waiting. Dammit, I'm doing that whining thing again. Let's move on...
To... TABLETS! I'm definitely getting one. If all goes according to plan, I should be ordering one next week at some point. It's gonna be awesome, I'm going to art my ass off! And it's going to be of an exponentially greater quality than most of my stuff has been up 'til this point. Maybe, just maybe, I'll actually be able to start doing backgrounds even! It's something I've always neglected to do, mainly because I both fail at Photoshop, and can't draw stationary objects all that well. Well, I can, but they look strange. I could draw a Gamecube, and show the picture to someone, and they would say, "That is the worst drawing of a pizza box I have ever seen." I've decided that the first thing I'm gonna draw when I get the tablet is a new icon. The one I have now seems a little... dated. It doesn't show my current level of skill, or the "style" I've developed, if you can even call it that.
Well, that's all for now. I can feel the urge to whine rearing it's ugly head, so I'm gonna stop typing. Any second now. And... bam. There it goes. I stopped.
Anyways, congrats on not being allergic to cats anymore! :3 AWESOME news about the tablet too!! I really look forward to seeing what you will draw. I'm sure it's gonna be AMAZING!!! :D
Please trust me when I say this, these feelings you are having shouldn't be kept bottled up inside! For they will eat away at you. With that said, I would like you to know that if you ever need to talk about something or if you just feel the urge to let something out, I will be around. I know it may be hard to talk about such personal things with someone you barely know, but I hate to see you feeling such great pain and sadness. So if I can and if you would let me, I would like to be there for you in these tough times! ^_^