it's been hard. and myself have been trying to find a balance with my medical conditions and our home life. because of me he can't work outside the home as much as we desperately need him too, in order to bring in food money. I've been denied the first time so far, for disability, and will be appealing it and finding a disability lawyer. i knew that they wouldn't approve me right off the bat, but i was kind of hoping i wouldn't have to fight a battle to get the assistance i need.

we bought a juicer and i will be trying a raw vegan diet long term (minus the collagen i take as a supplement in my morning smoothie, that comes from cow) i am also seeing my doctor again, because i did not like the last medicine i was on, it made me dizzy and nauseous.

so i have bone pain, nerve pain, muscle pain, and joint pain. i get muscle spasms really anywhere, but a few places are more common, and one of those places is in my intestines. i have lower back pain, and spinal compression (but that may be a separate issue) and upper back pain and shoulder pain due to my large chest. i get memory fog and can forget things mid sentence, and i can get confused. i have anxiety and mild depression along with insomnia. and my biggest thing lately is my left leg at the hip ball and socket joint, some days it feels like it wants to dislocate, and it is literally almost impossible to walk on it, even to the bathroom. i have had cryptic catch me as i almost fell gasping for air because it was so painful. also a new symptom in the past 2 weeks is that my hips, pelvis, and lower spine pop and pop and pop with almost ANY motion. it is very painful.

all my blood work is normal, and i have just had a big fibromyalgia sticker stamped on my forehead. is thats whats really wrong with me? i don't know but my doctor is open to ANY therapy so long as it helps so i am sticking with him for the time being.

after my commitments that i have already agreed to, i am going to shut down commissions until we can find something that makes me feel a lease a little normal. i have already weaned our daughter so now its a waiting game for me to dry up my milk and have my breast reduction, so at least one of my problems will be solved.