Yes, you understand it right. The german government destroyes my future right now. Today I got the note. They won't let me make my A-levels and I won't get the chance to study just because my mom and I live from social benefits. I need 350 $ (300 €) per month so I can study via distance learning and make my A-levels. But from the minute I register for distance learning I won't get the social benefits anymore and so I have no money to buy food anymore. I wish I could sell so many commissions per month to raise the money or getting a job here in the city, but my skills are too bad and close-by my home are no job offers.

I have no way. I'm really desperate and bloody damn angry!!!!! I never was so angry before, I nearly did hit my dog (but I resisted). I would never forgive me when I would hit Spike. Never. I would rather hit myself than hit her.

Gah, I'm so angry I could kill someone. I don't know what I can do.