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Done With Today~
8 years ago
I have been having just a rotten day.
Being bipolar you kinda start to notice the moods changing over time, I have learned to pick up the signs that things are about to go downhill, I have been preparing myself for a few days now (doing sketches for commissions ect.) I woke up this morning just feeling SOO down.
I went in to my doctor yesterday, who prescribed me a stronger anti depressant, to help with the coming issues I will face, highs and lows usually last about 6 months, but I was hoping to get some meds this time so I can skip the crap mood for the most part.
I picked Lee up from work at about 7 am, I was a bit moody, but he bought bacon and hamburger and requested I make him bacon cheese burgers for dinner. I didn't want to (people who have dealt with depression will understand) but I love him, so I did it anyways.
We were missing lettuce and tomato, which he whined about -.-
Then he goes to bed, I have been having pain still after all of those surgeries, so I took a pain pill and started his laundry (keep in mind I haven't slept in 24 hours at this point)
I stay up for 2 hours to make sure his clothes are washed and ready for him to go to work when he wakes up.
I lay down, get about 3 hours of sleep before it's time to wake up, get him breakfast and get him to work.
SOMEHOW I was running super late, which makes no sense since it's the same stuff I do every day, so I didn't even get to eat, I got his clothes put together, made him breakfast, ect, which he was stressed about because we were running late.
We manage to make it out of the house in just enough time to get him to work.
I mention in passing that I really hope the doctor sent out my prescription for the anti depressant, because I need to go pick it up, and I get lectured ALL the way to his work because he says I obsess about things to much -.-
He says that every time I go to say something, either I'm obsessing, or it's not something he wants to talk about, so I just shut up, then I get lectured for bottling things up.
So I drop him off, I am super irritable at this point, I come to the edge of the parking lot leaving his work, and some meth head on a bike starts screaming at me.
No reason.
Calls me... well I know many people don't hate saying this word but I do, so we will just refer to it as the "N" word, and starts calling me a piece of shit.
Solvi is sitting in the front seat freaking out like she is gunna have to take out some tweaker.
I yell out the window, call him a few colorful names as he rides his bike by, I usually don't do that but I'm just in such a great mood at this time. Pull out, make it to the pharmacy, where they tell me my insurance has lapsed.
As I try to explain to them that no it hasn't I JUST called the insurance company 2 days ago, they tell me it doesn't matter there is nothing they can do, so I'm like, whatever, I pay out of pocket, climb in the car and pull out the information for the meds and start reading (as I always do right away) they gave me the wrong prescription, it was one for me that I needed but not the anti depressant. Come to find out, my doctor DIDN'T send it in like she was supposed to (this has happened a few times now, but I even double checked with her that she was sending it RIGHT there with me sitting there) At this point it is 4:45 pm, everything closes at 5. Insurance makes you sit on hold for at least 3 hours before talking to anyone, and the doctor's office is closed till Monday.
UGH.
So I leave the store, get cut off by some old lady, grumbling to myself a little bit I'm like ok, you know what, I'm done, I pull over, open my soda I just bought, grab a dog treat for Solvi, we sit there for a minute to cool down, I leave again and drive home.
Again, still sore after all of the surgeries, it takes me a second to get out of the car. I open my door when I get home, I start climbing out of the car and Solvi bolts out my door and down the street after the neighborhood stray dog that she has a crush on -.-
So I'm chasing her yelling at her the best I can, remember I have dog treats, shake the bag, after 10 minutes she comes running back all muddy.
So she gets a bath, and I get to sit here now... finally relaxing in my home away from everyone.
It's still stormy out, the lights are still flickering a bunch, and I am in the mood to drink right now -.-
no money though cause I just spent in on meds that should have been paid for.
I called my mom to get cheered up, all she can say is "Hey! Tomorrow is your birthday!"
Yea, I'm old, I don't have any friends, and my family lives too far away to see me that day. I get to sit at home by myself all day, don't even have funds to treat myself to anything.
And now the internet keeps cutting out -.-
I'm just ready for this week to be over with.
I hate complaining on here cause I don't want people to just see me as this horribly negative person, but it helps to type it all out, so I'm sorry for that guys.
Youroka_Kage
~yourokakage
I'm sorry for the day you have had. ^.^;
wulphram
~wulphram
Wow. o.0 That's a lot to handle really. Do what you can though.
