There's always been two lines of thought in my family that sort of conflict with one another when dealing with major issues. My mom's side of the family has always been a "Circle the Wagons" kind of people when it comes to issues, letting people know what's up so they can be there for emotional support from the very beginning. My Dad's side has always taken an Atlas approach, suffering in silence so as not to scare others and filling them in after getting through the worst of it. To be perfectly honest I suppose I'm much more of the latter, I don't like coming to others with my problems and stressing out my friends when they've got their own lives to deal with. But I kind of had a big scare these week and I'm taking a moment to blow off a little bit and pass this on to you, my watchers, friends, and anyone who happens upon my page because I think it's important to know these kinds of things.

For the past several days my Dad's been in the Emergency Room. To be honest, it's scared the living daylights out of me because it was pretty serious. Towards the beginning of the week my dad had an issue where the vision in his left eye had begun to fade out in a bright wash of light until he couldn't see out of the eye at all. This lasted for about 12 minutes until it went back to normal. During the rest of the week he'd taken some time to make sure he was alright and on Wednesday he went back to work. On a whim I hugged him that night before bed and told him I loved him like my mom, sister, and I do every night, which I'm sort of sad to say I don't do very often looking back on it. Thursday came and he was off to work before I woke up like usual, but unlike usual, the blindness returned once he got to work. This time he decided that this might be serious and came home, told my mom what had happened, then drove himself to the ER; and that was about all I'd heard until late in the afternoon.

I'm going to be honest, my dad and I don't always get along neither does he and my sister. He has a strong sense of humor and an impish if not childish nature about him in a way, he can be kind and thoughtful of others. But there are other times where he goes through days saying and doing things that leave me wondering how selfish a person can be, and just how can someone be that thoughtless or mean-spirited? But when I heard what had happened and was left to sit in the dark not knowing what was going on or if he was even still alive, I had time to think; and I mean HOURS. Thoughts began to pass through my mind, thoughts about dad not being there to see me meet the right girl and start a family of my own, Grandkids that would never know their Grandfather, Dad never getting to see me or my sister move out and make it in the world, the launch of my novel, or my mom coming home every night to an empty side of the bed. It was crushing to imagine him disappearing from our lives, and the last time I'd let him know that I loved him came simply from a whim out of the blue one night before he went to bed.

It's very easy to hype yourself up and begin to think someone's the worst person in the world, or take them for granted because you don't even consider they won't be there tomorrow, or just not say or do things because you don't make time to do them because it doesn't seem important at the time. But when you step back you can see the good, when you get a hard slap of reality you realize how much an empty seat means, and just how painful words left unsaid are.

Now make no mistake, I don't hate my dad. I've never thought i was living with Attila the Hun, or saying anything extreme like that. But when I had time to think, and that fragile veil of comfort was pulled away leaving me to look over a chasm of harsh and uncertain reality, it gave me time to think. I want to say this right now for anyone who will listen to this, who will take the time to read this; no matter who voted for who, no matter what your beliefs are, no matter if you don't like one of your family members, no matter if you figure they know already, or you've never said it before, make time to tell people you love them! For god sake's in the uncertain world whether they're the model person or not, they're all you have!! Tell them you love them, tell them they mean a lot to you, tell them to take care of themselves, give them a hug!! Because every single person on the face of the planet is just like you, going through life trying to do the best they can with what they're given. They make differences on people's lives, they matter to many different people, they have hopes and dreams the same as you do, and in an instant that can be taken away from not only you, but anyone who depends on them!

Mercifully, my dad called in the afternoon to fill me in. A major Artery on his left side had become 95% clogged over the years and it was seriously affecting blood flow, causing his left optical nerve to go into spasms creating the light affect, and if he'd let it go any longer he'd have had a stroke. He went into surgery last night and is recovering and should be home today if all goes well. But this scare has put things into perspective a bit clearer for me and I want to be open with everybody about things. And I want to make certain I convey just how important it is to be considerate of others. No fight, no argument, no petty disagreement is worth a heartbroken spouse having to live the rest of their lives coming home to an empty side of the bed. Nothing is more important that taking the time at least once a night to tell someone you love them. No difference of opinion is worth telling someone you hate them. No one lasts forever, so don't wait to tell someone they mean something until they're gone. Because I was lucky to have had the chance to tell him I loved him before he went to the ER; but no one will be lucky all the time.

I'll keep people posted on his recovery later in the week when he gets home. But please keep what I said in mind and consider it. No youtube video, no Skype call, no Social Media site, no computer is so important that it can't wait a few minutes to say something important to someone. Hopefully the rest of my year will settle down, I think this is about as much excitement as I'd care to take!!