So I learned something this past weekend.

Something wonderful actually. Where I am happiest.

As many of you know, I packed up and disappeared for four days, taking up a temporary residence in the room of LucifurFox.

There were a few speculations from friends how much fun I’d be able to have with him working most of the weekend, but speculations are just that. A speculation.

I had an amazing weekend. Everything was still there that I’ve felt every time that I’m at his side. A fantastic feeling that floats with my blood through every vein. A feeling of belonging, a feeling of pure happiness, pure joy. These feelings that I used to only feel a flicker of now are a constant when I’m at his side.

I would spend most of my time while he was at work dozing, cat napping and playing about on the internet. Because then I could be awake and attentive when he was around.

I’ve learned there’s no better wake up than then feeling of a warm hand on your back.

I’ve learned there’s no better lullaby for sleep then to be in the arms of the one you love, listening to their heart beat and their soft breathing.

There’s not better pain reliever than to just be in those arms. Hidden away from the world, being exactly where you know you’re safe and loved.

There’s no better anti-depressant that to look into the eyes of the one you love as they say those words “I love you” and to see that sparkle, to know that it’s meant.

There’s no better reassurance than just looking into those eyes, not a word needs to be said.

There’s no better self-esteem raiser then to feel their hand on your cheek, to tell you all the sweet things you find so hard to believe, but they keep saying it until you think maybe it could be true.

You know you belong at their side when you come home, look at your own empty room and just shake your head.

When you roll over in the middle of the night expecting your fingertips to feel their warm skin.

When you’re at the video store and your find yourself almost asking what they’d like to see.

When you hear mention of their name/nickname and you haven’t been paying attention to the conversation, yet that one simple word catches your attention immediately, you perk and bite your tongue as “Where” almost slips out.

I know I’m not the easiest person at times, but I appreciate everything you do for me. The effort you put in with every breath to make me a confident, reassured young woman. I know I snap. I know I’ll turn away. I know I’ll avoid and dance around a subject. But I know also I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for you.

The fact that you’re willing to take the small steps to get back to where both of us know I should be, to take what happened in the past and accept it instead of hide from it. The fact that you hold my hand and help me grow from it.

The fact that you’ve done so much that I can’t even explain.

I love you. Thank you so much.

Ich liebe du fir iffer und immer.