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fear of missing out
8 years ago
It's harder to know when you are missing out. There is no fear, just certainty that you are. I've never really had this feeling before, or at least in a very long time. I usually disconnect myself from media as best I can. I do not feel like I'm missing out by not attending events or being with people I grew up with, as much as I do miss them and hope to see them in the future. I guess my ties to the fandom (in a social media sense) are stronger than they are to my actual life, or what happens outside the furry fandom. Maybe this is me realizing that like everyone else, I'm normal but I prefer to focus my attention to things that aren't my day to day. It's odd, never really felt like I've been missing out on something good but I guess once you go to a con, not being able to keep attending or having flipped back and forth between going and not going. It's an itch that can only be scratched by going. Seeing pictures and shit on twitter certainly doesn't help. BLFC is still the most fun I think I've had at a convention, though my experiences are pretty limited. But I made the conscious choice not to go, so there's nothing to be mad over except my own choices.
But in an odd twist, I also dislike BLFC. The entire "let's invite everyone here" and have the convention grow too rapidly. I see a lot of planning problems for the convention and the staff, and eventually the hotel. Having to move out from the GSR into somewhere else. That can be beneficial or it can be harmful. I think the MFF is beginning to experience this. They've clearly outgrown the Hyatt and have continuously upset artists and attendees by not giving them priority. Whether you agree or disagree with that is your own prerogative but it's something to consider. The conventions as they grow so large become more competitive for people to even just find a room.
Off track a little bit from the original point of the convention growing but BLFC has basically gone from a small time local convention to a fandom wide phenomena. Going from under 2000 two years ago, to 4000 plus registered attendees this year. That's rapid growth for a convention. Not that aren't capable of handling it but the entire atmosphere of it and people's attitudes about the con being a party the entire time where you can do anything so long as you stay off the casino floor if you're suiting and aren't too belligerent. It;s sort of true, it really is a big party especially compared to other conventions but I think what bugs me the most is that everyone invites everyone. Basically it becomes a free for all in terms of who is attending and that they can do anything. Basically the party grows and grows until some shit happens and then it all collapses. You know, all fun and games until someone loses an eye? Or whatever fandom drama or shit can happen when you mix irresponsible people, alcohol and low inhibitions together.
What I'm getting at is don't ruin a good thing. Yes it's a secret club mentality and this entire fandom exists on a platform of inclusivity and sometimes being overinclusive. To a point of "hey maybe these people aren't so good because they can't behave in public". So I'd urge people to I guess think about who they're inviting and why it may not be such a great idea to invite literally everyone and try to get it to be "bigger than anthrocon" despite that a lot of people who can't behave themselves will get invited and shit the place up and ruin it for the rest of us who can and that the con probably can't handle growth like that. Don't ruin something for the rest of us because your "best friend" you "totally trust", Schmucketelli, is actually "that guy".
I think a lot of this could be solved if most conventions were 21+ but that would probably piss a lot of young people off. But BLFC is one of those places where I think that you should be 21 to attend, the environment and atmosphere basically require that you should be. Obviously you can't screen people and can only act after the fact but it's something to consider as you try to get literally everyone you know there and keep saying "yeah blfc tho is the best con and everyone you know should go tho". Perhaps I'e just gone mad with my own thoughts on things I've observed.
On to the car, the thing that's keeping (or kept me) from going.
As sure as it was last week, it crashed down. I brought my MR2 back to California, found it was leaking from the transaxle and had some pretty bad hubs and bearings among other problems. So all that is being taken care of, but it's at the cost of the convention for me. The repair bill is too much for me to able to afford both. It came down to one or the other and... I chose the car. I feel like it was a mistake to choose a car over having fun with friends, especially when I still have my truck to drive and had the time to flush the radiator and change its oil. But I chose the MR2, a project that's non vital, instead of putting it to the side and being with friends. I feel like I chose wrong, but I can't really change that
Sitting on it now, the night before the con starts I realized that I should have done this a lot differently. What I should have done was taken the job here in CA last week, get some hours under my belt and then taken my car to get its shit fixed and then work on my truck myself. It means I would have been able to afford the convention because I wouldn't be out a significant chunk of change, had money on the way to wrap up whatever loose ends I might have had with the budgeted amount for the work and then I'd still be working when I came back. But I didn't. I brought the car in, told them to do what they needed to do and so I'm out money, down a car and can't go to the convention. I made some shitty financial moves. I'll recover, I'm just not happy the way things panned out and how they all came to be. At the very least I'll be occupied with work so I can afford my vehicles, some commissions this summer and I still have tickets to see Iron Maiden.
I can't make it to BLFC this year, but I will next year. Promise. I hope that all my friends there have a great time and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Perhaps this is all just the diary of a madman. Not like anyone actually reads these.
But in an odd twist, I also dislike BLFC. The entire "let's invite everyone here" and have the convention grow too rapidly. I see a lot of planning problems for the convention and the staff, and eventually the hotel. Having to move out from the GSR into somewhere else. That can be beneficial or it can be harmful. I think the MFF is beginning to experience this. They've clearly outgrown the Hyatt and have continuously upset artists and attendees by not giving them priority. Whether you agree or disagree with that is your own prerogative but it's something to consider. The conventions as they grow so large become more competitive for people to even just find a room.
Off track a little bit from the original point of the convention growing but BLFC has basically gone from a small time local convention to a fandom wide phenomena. Going from under 2000 two years ago, to 4000 plus registered attendees this year. That's rapid growth for a convention. Not that aren't capable of handling it but the entire atmosphere of it and people's attitudes about the con being a party the entire time where you can do anything so long as you stay off the casino floor if you're suiting and aren't too belligerent. It;s sort of true, it really is a big party especially compared to other conventions but I think what bugs me the most is that everyone invites everyone. Basically it becomes a free for all in terms of who is attending and that they can do anything. Basically the party grows and grows until some shit happens and then it all collapses. You know, all fun and games until someone loses an eye? Or whatever fandom drama or shit can happen when you mix irresponsible people, alcohol and low inhibitions together.
What I'm getting at is don't ruin a good thing. Yes it's a secret club mentality and this entire fandom exists on a platform of inclusivity and sometimes being overinclusive. To a point of "hey maybe these people aren't so good because they can't behave in public". So I'd urge people to I guess think about who they're inviting and why it may not be such a great idea to invite literally everyone and try to get it to be "bigger than anthrocon" despite that a lot of people who can't behave themselves will get invited and shit the place up and ruin it for the rest of us who can and that the con probably can't handle growth like that. Don't ruin something for the rest of us because your "best friend" you "totally trust", Schmucketelli, is actually "that guy".
I think a lot of this could be solved if most conventions were 21+ but that would probably piss a lot of young people off. But BLFC is one of those places where I think that you should be 21 to attend, the environment and atmosphere basically require that you should be. Obviously you can't screen people and can only act after the fact but it's something to consider as you try to get literally everyone you know there and keep saying "yeah blfc tho is the best con and everyone you know should go tho". Perhaps I'e just gone mad with my own thoughts on things I've observed.
On to the car, the thing that's keeping (or kept me) from going.
As sure as it was last week, it crashed down. I brought my MR2 back to California, found it was leaking from the transaxle and had some pretty bad hubs and bearings among other problems. So all that is being taken care of, but it's at the cost of the convention for me. The repair bill is too much for me to able to afford both. It came down to one or the other and... I chose the car. I feel like it was a mistake to choose a car over having fun with friends, especially when I still have my truck to drive and had the time to flush the radiator and change its oil. But I chose the MR2, a project that's non vital, instead of putting it to the side and being with friends. I feel like I chose wrong, but I can't really change that
Sitting on it now, the night before the con starts I realized that I should have done this a lot differently. What I should have done was taken the job here in CA last week, get some hours under my belt and then taken my car to get its shit fixed and then work on my truck myself. It means I would have been able to afford the convention because I wouldn't be out a significant chunk of change, had money on the way to wrap up whatever loose ends I might have had with the budgeted amount for the work and then I'd still be working when I came back. But I didn't. I brought the car in, told them to do what they needed to do and so I'm out money, down a car and can't go to the convention. I made some shitty financial moves. I'll recover, I'm just not happy the way things panned out and how they all came to be. At the very least I'll be occupied with work so I can afford my vehicles, some commissions this summer and I still have tickets to see Iron Maiden.
I can't make it to BLFC this year, but I will next year. Promise. I hope that all my friends there have a great time and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Perhaps this is all just the diary of a madman. Not like anyone actually reads these.
And it will be until it isn't anymore. And then something else will be the best con. Such is the way.
You'll get there again next year, and you'll have a rocking car to boot.