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Back in black, this fox is back, I've been too long...
8 years ago
...and I have no idea where I'm going with this.
Hi, welcome back to my page. This time for a neat little wild journal I like to call...
What happened to Reina recently
First off, let us start in May.
I finished my first year of College! Huzzah!
I know basic 3D modeling using Maya, ZBrush, and Photoshop to create some basic models (that I have no idea what to do with at the moment lol, but I can model!)
I am set up almost for next year (aside form 2 classes I need).
2 of my classes, for some reason, won't let me take them.
It all has to do with that crap that happened during my first semester.
Level Design is one, which requires the Intro to Computer Animation class to have been taken. That is the class I got screwed out of during my first semester because no one told me about it.
Speech is my other class I'll be taking (yet can't get into), but this one idk why.
Speech has no prerequisites, but it won't let me sign up for it for some reason, so I'm really not all sure why I can't take it.
I'm working with my advisor to figure this out. We have top wait until the lady who can do overrides for classes is back from recovery after her surgery she had right towards the beginning of April (I think.. Maybe middle, idk...)
Anyways... Moving on.
I did get 2 new arts!
If you didn't see them, check them out after (or during, you're grown ups, right? make your own choices) this journal.
If you did, enjoy more. lol
Life at home has been kinda rough since I got out of college for the summer.
I've been hunting a home for a while, but every time I find a nice, decent place to rent for cheap (that isn't an apartment or duplex) it gets bought. I mean literally bought. Instead of leased out, it's sold. Bamn, gone. It's like, well fuck...
I started hunting a new car, too. Different car, not brand new. (This comes in important here shortly)
May has been on and off at work. I've been working more hours (which is fine, I need the money) but my home life has been awful. I get home, and after cleaning up after drunks, kids, methheads, whatever, that come in to my gas station and make a mess, I have to come home to a house (that is not owned or paid for by me in any way, people) of 2 full grown adults (who DO pay for the house) and 2 ungrateful little shithead kids who all wreck the house and then expect me to clean up after them like I was the only one that made a mess.
Yes... I literally make a huge mess and wreck the house... Remotely... While I'm at work... Somehow... I'm a with and didn't even know it.
Whatever.
So, I'm trying to save money. I took a good step forward and (using a really good paycheck from work that I will proly never see anything close to that again) bought an actual phone.
I have a phone people.
But...
It's not on.
I bought the phone to get ready to turn it. I still don't have just enough to turn it on yet.
(broke ass fox that barely makes $150 a week cuz I have a shit car, that again comes into play shortly)
All month long though, I'm being berated and belittled by both my mom and stepdad.
All because I "do nothing around the house" still...
so...
Saturday, this past Saturday.
I wake up.
Cry.
Fall asleep.
Wake up, cry and lay in bed.
Did nothing all day.
Didn't even eat.
Only got up to use bathroom.
Bed.
Sleep.
Got up and went to car.
Cried in car.
Slept in car.
Woke up.
Considered suicide to end this pain and depression.
Came back in.
Bed.
Slept.
This was from midnight Saturday until sometime in the a.m. Sunday when I finally fell asleep.
(I do apologize about the suicide thing. I don't want to play it off as some small thing, cuz it's a serious issue. There was a lot on my mind and everything was hitting me at once, and I just wanted to shut it off. But I want to move on.)
Sunday I wake up.
I go to Walmart and spend a few bucks on some small foods.
Bought a steak cuz I wanted to make Steak and Eggs, also bought some hashbrowns.
made a nice brunch.
Was genuinely feeling alright.
Spent the morning looking for a new car and a place to live.
Here I am preparing to get out on my own, find a place, move, be happy, do things I want to do, not what my mom wants me to do, and...
Next day.
I wreck my car
June 5th
Rest in Peace, my '03 Nissan Altima.
I took care of you, replaced your oil every 3-5000 miles, got you new brakes and tires, replaced your alternator and got a brand new battery, kept full coverage on you, and loved you (even if I did get mad every once in a while at you for messing up again).
Rain, mother nature did me in.
Some idiot slammed on his brakes IN THE RAIN and cause a guy in front of me to slam on his brakes IN THE RAIN.
So as I'm slowing down already, I try to stop a little quicker and I hear something click and my foot hits the floor.
"Shit."
I hit the dude in front of me, who barely managed to stop less than 6 inches from hitting the guy in front of him, and I cause his car to one-inch-punch the other guy's car.
Totaled my and the middle dude's car. Front car guy, literally drove into a parking lot next to where the wreck happened.
His reason to the cops (when they got there) was he "just wanted to get out of the way of traffic."
My and the middle's car was going nowhere.
Dude.
Wat.
Anyways
What's funny, is we passed an entrance/exit to our local hospital. Getting ready to pull out to go on route (drive around the area, pretty much) was an Ambulance. lol
Right when he pulled out behind me, I hit the dude. They just flipped their lights on and radioed the police. lol again, the irony
He comes out to check on me, I'm uninjured and so are the other 2 guys btw, and he was laughing.
We cut up a second about how perfect timing that was before he went on to check on everyone else.
(Don't forget, I work the only 24/7 gas station in this little town, so I knew him and at least 2 of the 3 cops that showed up. One was a county turned city cop, cuz city gets paid more to cover less ground. Yeah idk either.)
Well, middle dude was mad cuz he said he just finished paying off the car. It was old. The guy was heading in to work at Walmart, the only other 24/7 store in this little town. No worries about expensive shit. The front guy's car was old too.
He only had Liability insurance.
I was only shaken up cuz i'm 24 and have never been in a wreck before. Achievement unlocked: First Wreck!
I do have full coverage though.
"do you have insurance??"
Yeah, full coverage. it's ok.
"yeah, well I only have liability. so I hope you know you're going to pay for this shit."
The guy was mad, I totally get it. You finish paying off a car and stupid shit happens. It's raining, the idiot in front of you slams on his brakes for whatever reason (will explain him in a minute) and you just had it totaled in a less than 30 mph fender-bender.
I was calm, I just didn't want Mr. Angery to hit me. I seriously had that feeling from him, mainly cuz he slammed his clenched fists onto his car hood when I went to check and see if he was ok. Needless to say I stayed away from him. He did calm down when his girlfriend (who also worked at Walmart) came to check on him.
Cops and his gf managed to calm him down. Enough, anyways.
Ok, so back to the front guy.
He was on sometin.
He told the cops he just got out of DUI classes (so was proly driving on a revoked/suspended license) and/or was drunk or high/out of his mind at the moment.
I've never heard someone talk slower than a 1960's hippie on some serious LSD, but man did this guy have such sloooooooooooooooooooow speech.
Well, he tries to lie his way into getting, I guess, some free medical care (but that wasn't going to happen).
He said he was a little injured, maybe his back. (Lies for the most part, everyone may have a little whiplash, but that was no train wreck.)
The Ambulance crew checks him out, I can't hear cuz I'm not close enough, but I do wander closer without being obvious.
At one point I guess he says something about broke ribs.
And this was the conversation between him and a paramedic:
(read from the first and every other line in a slow hippie stoner voice)
"I think I might have some broken ribs"
"Do you need to go to the emergency room?"
"Nah, just treat me here"
"well we don't have an x-ray out here."
"oh."
"so no broke ribs?"
"well no, but I think I punctured a lung"
"sir, if you punctured a lung, you need to go to the emergency room"
"no, no, no..."
"and you wouldn't be standing here talking to us right now, nor would you have drove over there" (points to his car in parking lot)
"oh."
"do you need to go to the hospital?"
"no"
"ok, well we need to check on the others"
"o kay.."
Hilarious.
But I seriously think he was on some kind of something at that point.
No one I have ever known has ever talked like that even when they WERE on something hard, like LSD or some super strong weed.
I'm totally fine btw. My car isn't, but I'm fine.
Unscathed, unscratched.
So an hour after that, I had to go to work.
Luckily I literally walk to work. Not even a 10th of a mile, maybe less.
No worries lol.
But I can't drive to see my friends at the moment.
Sucks, but I'll get a better car.
Anyways, I called a friend (from house phone, new phone not set up yet) and talked for an hour.
We started talking and I realized that...
I was looking for a new car -> wrecked current car, have reason to get a new car
Am looking for a new job -> will need more money to afford better car, have reason to change jobs
Am looking to find a place -> will have better car and better job to afford said place
This was a negative event that has totally inspired positive future events.
Like, I'm not even mad that I just wrecked my only working vehicle.
I'm happy and sad in a wild way.
I do say that maybe this was my grandmother (rest her sweet soul), who passed on 10 years ago this past April due to ALS, telling me "I can help you this one time."
I think that wreck was destined.
I mean, I had plenty of opportunity to turn out from my road onto the main road, but I waited and got behind the one vehicle I hit.
I seriously think that was my grandmother saying "Keep following this path. I can give you a tiny boost."
I am by no means religious, but I do believe she is my guardian angel and is watching over me.
I am glad to say that while I have wrecked my car, live in an abusive household, and work a shit ass job...
I look forward to my future.
I am happy to say I will be following through now with all my plans, regardless of my mom.
Thank you for reading to the end of this (holy shit this is long) journal.
For now, I must be off.
To a far away place.
I call it...
My bed.
DUN
dun
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
lol, good mood
Anyways, ttyl fellow furries and trash pandas, scalies and booplesnoots
To dreamland, aWWWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYyyyyyyyyy..........
Hi, welcome back to my page. This time for a neat little wild journal I like to call...
What happened to Reina recently
First off, let us start in May.
I finished my first year of College! Huzzah!
I know basic 3D modeling using Maya, ZBrush, and Photoshop to create some basic models (that I have no idea what to do with at the moment lol, but I can model!)
I am set up almost for next year (aside form 2 classes I need).
2 of my classes, for some reason, won't let me take them.
It all has to do with that crap that happened during my first semester.
Level Design is one, which requires the Intro to Computer Animation class to have been taken. That is the class I got screwed out of during my first semester because no one told me about it.
Speech is my other class I'll be taking (yet can't get into), but this one idk why.
Speech has no prerequisites, but it won't let me sign up for it for some reason, so I'm really not all sure why I can't take it.
I'm working with my advisor to figure this out. We have top wait until the lady who can do overrides for classes is back from recovery after her surgery she had right towards the beginning of April (I think.. Maybe middle, idk...)
Anyways... Moving on.
I did get 2 new arts!
If you didn't see them, check them out after (or during, you're grown ups, right? make your own choices) this journal.
If you did, enjoy more. lol
Life at home has been kinda rough since I got out of college for the summer.
I've been hunting a home for a while, but every time I find a nice, decent place to rent for cheap (that isn't an apartment or duplex) it gets bought. I mean literally bought. Instead of leased out, it's sold. Bamn, gone. It's like, well fuck...
I started hunting a new car, too. Different car, not brand new. (This comes in important here shortly)
May has been on and off at work. I've been working more hours (which is fine, I need the money) but my home life has been awful. I get home, and after cleaning up after drunks, kids, methheads, whatever, that come in to my gas station and make a mess, I have to come home to a house (that is not owned or paid for by me in any way, people) of 2 full grown adults (who DO pay for the house) and 2 ungrateful little shithead kids who all wreck the house and then expect me to clean up after them like I was the only one that made a mess.
Yes... I literally make a huge mess and wreck the house... Remotely... While I'm at work... Somehow... I'm a with and didn't even know it.
Whatever.
So, I'm trying to save money. I took a good step forward and (using a really good paycheck from work that I will proly never see anything close to that again) bought an actual phone.
I have a phone people.
But...
It's not on.
I bought the phone to get ready to turn it. I still don't have just enough to turn it on yet.
(broke ass fox that barely makes $150 a week cuz I have a shit car, that again comes into play shortly)
All month long though, I'm being berated and belittled by both my mom and stepdad.
All because I "do nothing around the house" still...
so...
Saturday, this past Saturday.
I wake up.
Cry.
Fall asleep.
Wake up, cry and lay in bed.
Did nothing all day.
Didn't even eat.
Only got up to use bathroom.
Bed.
Sleep.
Got up and went to car.
Cried in car.
Slept in car.
Woke up.
Considered suicide to end this pain and depression.
Came back in.
Bed.
Slept.
This was from midnight Saturday until sometime in the a.m. Sunday when I finally fell asleep.
(I do apologize about the suicide thing. I don't want to play it off as some small thing, cuz it's a serious issue. There was a lot on my mind and everything was hitting me at once, and I just wanted to shut it off. But I want to move on.)
Sunday I wake up.
I go to Walmart and spend a few bucks on some small foods.
Bought a steak cuz I wanted to make Steak and Eggs, also bought some hashbrowns.
made a nice brunch.
Was genuinely feeling alright.
Spent the morning looking for a new car and a place to live.
Here I am preparing to get out on my own, find a place, move, be happy, do things I want to do, not what my mom wants me to do, and...
Next day.
I wreck my car
June 5th
Rest in Peace, my '03 Nissan Altima.
I took care of you, replaced your oil every 3-5000 miles, got you new brakes and tires, replaced your alternator and got a brand new battery, kept full coverage on you, and loved you (even if I did get mad every once in a while at you for messing up again).
Rain, mother nature did me in.
Some idiot slammed on his brakes IN THE RAIN and cause a guy in front of me to slam on his brakes IN THE RAIN.
So as I'm slowing down already, I try to stop a little quicker and I hear something click and my foot hits the floor.
"Shit."
I hit the dude in front of me, who barely managed to stop less than 6 inches from hitting the guy in front of him, and I cause his car to one-inch-punch the other guy's car.
Totaled my and the middle dude's car. Front car guy, literally drove into a parking lot next to where the wreck happened.
His reason to the cops (when they got there) was he "just wanted to get out of the way of traffic."
My and the middle's car was going nowhere.
Dude.
Wat.
Anyways
What's funny, is we passed an entrance/exit to our local hospital. Getting ready to pull out to go on route (drive around the area, pretty much) was an Ambulance. lol
Right when he pulled out behind me, I hit the dude. They just flipped their lights on and radioed the police. lol again, the irony
He comes out to check on me, I'm uninjured and so are the other 2 guys btw, and he was laughing.
We cut up a second about how perfect timing that was before he went on to check on everyone else.
(Don't forget, I work the only 24/7 gas station in this little town, so I knew him and at least 2 of the 3 cops that showed up. One was a county turned city cop, cuz city gets paid more to cover less ground. Yeah idk either.)
Well, middle dude was mad cuz he said he just finished paying off the car. It was old. The guy was heading in to work at Walmart, the only other 24/7 store in this little town. No worries about expensive shit. The front guy's car was old too.
He only had Liability insurance.
I was only shaken up cuz i'm 24 and have never been in a wreck before. Achievement unlocked: First Wreck!
I do have full coverage though.
"do you have insurance??"
Yeah, full coverage. it's ok.
"yeah, well I only have liability. so I hope you know you're going to pay for this shit."
The guy was mad, I totally get it. You finish paying off a car and stupid shit happens. It's raining, the idiot in front of you slams on his brakes for whatever reason (will explain him in a minute) and you just had it totaled in a less than 30 mph fender-bender.
I was calm, I just didn't want Mr. Angery to hit me. I seriously had that feeling from him, mainly cuz he slammed his clenched fists onto his car hood when I went to check and see if he was ok. Needless to say I stayed away from him. He did calm down when his girlfriend (who also worked at Walmart) came to check on him.
Cops and his gf managed to calm him down. Enough, anyways.
Ok, so back to the front guy.
He was on sometin.
He told the cops he just got out of DUI classes (so was proly driving on a revoked/suspended license) and/or was drunk or high/out of his mind at the moment.
I've never heard someone talk slower than a 1960's hippie on some serious LSD, but man did this guy have such sloooooooooooooooooooow speech.
Well, he tries to lie his way into getting, I guess, some free medical care (but that wasn't going to happen).
He said he was a little injured, maybe his back. (Lies for the most part, everyone may have a little whiplash, but that was no train wreck.)
The Ambulance crew checks him out, I can't hear cuz I'm not close enough, but I do wander closer without being obvious.
At one point I guess he says something about broke ribs.
And this was the conversation between him and a paramedic:
(read from the first and every other line in a slow hippie stoner voice)
"I think I might have some broken ribs"
"Do you need to go to the emergency room?"
"Nah, just treat me here"
"well we don't have an x-ray out here."
"oh."
"so no broke ribs?"
"well no, but I think I punctured a lung"
"sir, if you punctured a lung, you need to go to the emergency room"
"no, no, no..."
"and you wouldn't be standing here talking to us right now, nor would you have drove over there" (points to his car in parking lot)
"oh."
"do you need to go to the hospital?"
"no"
"ok, well we need to check on the others"
"o kay.."
Hilarious.
But I seriously think he was on some kind of something at that point.
No one I have ever known has ever talked like that even when they WERE on something hard, like LSD or some super strong weed.
I'm totally fine btw. My car isn't, but I'm fine.
Unscathed, unscratched.
So an hour after that, I had to go to work.
Luckily I literally walk to work. Not even a 10th of a mile, maybe less.
No worries lol.
But I can't drive to see my friends at the moment.
Sucks, but I'll get a better car.
Anyways, I called a friend (from house phone, new phone not set up yet) and talked for an hour.
We started talking and I realized that...
I was looking for a new car -> wrecked current car, have reason to get a new car
Am looking for a new job -> will need more money to afford better car, have reason to change jobs
Am looking to find a place -> will have better car and better job to afford said place
This was a negative event that has totally inspired positive future events.
Like, I'm not even mad that I just wrecked my only working vehicle.
I'm happy and sad in a wild way.
I do say that maybe this was my grandmother (rest her sweet soul), who passed on 10 years ago this past April due to ALS, telling me "I can help you this one time."
I think that wreck was destined.
I mean, I had plenty of opportunity to turn out from my road onto the main road, but I waited and got behind the one vehicle I hit.
I seriously think that was my grandmother saying "Keep following this path. I can give you a tiny boost."
I am by no means religious, but I do believe she is my guardian angel and is watching over me.
I am glad to say that while I have wrecked my car, live in an abusive household, and work a shit ass job...
I look forward to my future.
I am happy to say I will be following through now with all my plans, regardless of my mom.
Thank you for reading to the end of this (holy shit this is long) journal.
For now, I must be off.
To a far away place.
I call it...
My bed.
DUN
dun
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
lol, good mood
Anyways, ttyl fellow furries and trash pandas, scalies and booplesnoots
To dreamland, aWWWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYyyyyyyyyy..........
Know that you'll still have our support behind you.
I'm glad you are alright and here's to hoping things get even better for you.