FA+
Shop
Stepping away
8 years ago
I think this Anthrocon has shown me what I have long worried was true.
I am not a person people do things with. I do not get invited to parties, events, or hang outs with. I found a game, Joust (PS3 with the PS Move), that was the most fun Ive had in awhile... and something I thought I was good with. But. People told me they were worried playing against me, that I wasnt beatable. I was the dangerous one.
I thought offering to throw money at things would make things better. buy people food when they were hungry. pay for things when I knew stuff was tight. I wanted people to not have to worry for awhile and be happy.
At work, people had told me that I intimidate them, and I seem unapproachable.
The thing I had worried most about, was that I was a monster, hiding from my reflection. Im sure Ive seen it to now, the truth of the situation. Its time a monster like me goes back to be alone in my lair.
I do have a few commitments in relation to cons and commissions that I intend to honor, but otherwise, Im leaving AC early. Cut my losses and go.
I am not a person people do things with. I do not get invited to parties, events, or hang outs with. I found a game, Joust (PS3 with the PS Move), that was the most fun Ive had in awhile... and something I thought I was good with. But. People told me they were worried playing against me, that I wasnt beatable. I was the dangerous one.
I thought offering to throw money at things would make things better. buy people food when they were hungry. pay for things when I knew stuff was tight. I wanted people to not have to worry for awhile and be happy.
At work, people had told me that I intimidate them, and I seem unapproachable.
The thing I had worried most about, was that I was a monster, hiding from my reflection. Im sure Ive seen it to now, the truth of the situation. Its time a monster like me goes back to be alone in my lair.
I do have a few commitments in relation to cons and commissions that I intend to honor, but otherwise, Im leaving AC early. Cut my losses and go.
It's very difficult to not judge yourself based on what you see other people doing around you. It's only natural.
I don't know if you'll be going back to other cons, but I think if you had one person to meet or visit with, it would make all the difference. I hope that you feel that is an achievable goal.