I really....REALLY....hate writing this journal, first and foremost. But I'm at a point right now where I don't have a ton of options at the moment, so I'm going to go ahead and give it a shot, so I hope you can take the time to read what's going on.

As of this morning, I am currently at -$80 in my bank account, that's NEGATIVE 80 dollars!! This is in large part, due to bills that keep appearing faster than I can maintain a decent balance to cover them. It's obviously not just that though: there's also needing to cover for food, insulin for my diabetes, being able to pay for public transport for a new month (which as of right now I can't pay for, so therefore I resort to having to just hop on the light rail here and HOPE there's no one on checking for tickets/pass cards....otherwise that'd probably be another large fine), and such. Back on the bill matter, as of right now, as much as I can tell, there's no real way to delay the bills, no way to negotiate, basically when it's due, they take what I have, no matter what it is I have, and more and more often it leaves me in negatives at the end of the day. My job only helps so much, it's more recently just not been enough for me to make it through a month, let alone a week or two. -.-

This is where commissions have started to come in. As much as having extra money for nice things or art for myself would be, right now I just can't do either of those, and now commissions are more for trying to help me feel even a slight bit better about getting by. So as I've done, numerous times before. I ask anyone out there who reads this, who follows me, enjoys what I draw, to please consider a commission from me. Even if it were just a simple black and white picture, anything at this point would be welcome. Admittedly, I'd need a few to get me out of my current situation, but I'm short on options as of right now. Job markets are tough, my medical condition hinders that a bit as well, there's not a lot of support from family. I'm struggling to come up with ways to improve the situations, and the feelings of hopelessness more and more start to grow. :(

Again, I hate writing this: I hate feeling this desperate, needy. I've never wanted to reach such a low point in my life, and yet, it's starting to feel more and more like that's where everything is headed.

But yes, if you ever want a commission from me, please refer to my commission info and come reach me: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5100339/ If you do want a commission, all I ask is that you be patient with me when it comes to work and completion. Commissions become my first priority when it comes to art once one is requested, but I also have a job and other things to also balance out, rest assured though, that I always try to put my best efforts into my art and any commissions would be no different. Work will get done ASAP and I will be sure to do my best to keep you up to date on your request and touch up on it if anything needs fixing up or needs to be changed.

Once again, to anyone who reads and can help, be it commissioning me, or even just providing me with some ideas that might help with the situations, I thank you for doing so and for taking the time to read what I have to say. I do hope things can somehow turn around. =/