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A Bit of Explaining/Rant
8 years ago
General
So I've recently become aware of being Pansexual (yeah, my nickname. Haha, funny.)
This seems to have confused a few people, and I've gotten quite a few questions......
-No, I don't love EVERYONE.
Some people seem to think that because I'm pansexual, I love every single person. I mean, you dont think a straight person loves every single person that is the opposite gender, right? Lesbians don't love every single girl, and gay guys don't love every single guy, right?
I just view things differently, is all, and it's not based on what is in your pants. I still have my preferred things here and there....
-No, I don't think you're ugly if you have traits i dont enjoy.
I do think some things to do with looks can be ugly. I don't like people who have bad hygiene, or dont take care of themselves. As far as personality traits that I dont like? I mean, yeah, i can get uncomfortable, but mostly it just makes me feel incompatable romantically. It doesn't mean i think you're ugly.
-How do I know I'm pansexual?
I've dated a trans person before. It didn't bother me at all. I've dated females and males. Didn't bother me. Honestly, I thought I was asexual for a little bit because I had lost all interest in anything sexual for a time, but pansexual makes more sense since i do actually get sexually attracted to people, but it's not really based on a gender thing. It's more like your actions towards me, and sometimes even others. If I see that you're generous, funny, and you actually show an interest in what i have to say, I'm more likely to find you as someone i would want to be with romantically. I like different personality traits, and i like it when people show that they care just like anyone else.
-Does you being sexual towards me bother me?
It does make me uncomfortable. Me getting attracted to others sexually is a bit more complicated (if you couldn't already tell.) If you just randomly want to RP doing it all the time, or want me to draw lewd pictures left and right (especially for free. I mean, I'm uncomfortable as it is drawing the stuff...), I mean...that's not even really much to do with my orientation. I just am a shy person in general, and I really dont like to just be randomly expected to RP sex out of nowhere like that. It feels similar to being catcalled or hit on to me, and I really am not comfortable in person with that, either.
-What do you want out of a relationship?
Depends on the relationship, for one. I want someone to spend my time with that i can feel safe and comfortable around. I want to feel like i belong and whoever it is cares about what i have to say. I've consistently listened to others, given advice, been walked all over, but I've always fallen short of being as nice to myself as I am to others. Generally, I've been used, emotionally battered, and ignored throughout much of my life. I want what most people want out of a relationship. Someone who cares as much as I do, and to go on adventures and have fun together. The rest? Well, it's up to me and whoever it is I end up with, but personally, is really like to travel and see/experience as much as I can before my time runs out.
I'm not sure if I've covered them all, but many of these are kind of in the direction of what I've been asked. I dont like arrogance, ignorance, selfishness, or things of that sort, but many people don't.
If I'm chatting with you, and you constantly try to one up me, prove me wrong, or not even show concern for my opinions or feelings, of course I'll be irritated. Wouldn't you be?
If i just waltzed up and made you feel like nothing you say mattered....none of your hopes, fears, anything matter at all, but you consider me a 'friend' wouldn't you be upset?
I'm a perfectly normal person. Just because I like something different or my opinions are different does not mean you have the right to treat me like dirt, to act like nothing I do matters, to be so entitled that you feel your opinions overwrite mine.
I know many other people feel this way, too, toward some people. It's not fair for anyone to feel like they are below someone just because they want to sit on their butt and be arrogant or ignorant and pretend like nothing you say or do can make a difference.
This seems to have confused a few people, and I've gotten quite a few questions......
-No, I don't love EVERYONE.
Some people seem to think that because I'm pansexual, I love every single person. I mean, you dont think a straight person loves every single person that is the opposite gender, right? Lesbians don't love every single girl, and gay guys don't love every single guy, right?
I just view things differently, is all, and it's not based on what is in your pants. I still have my preferred things here and there....
-No, I don't think you're ugly if you have traits i dont enjoy.
I do think some things to do with looks can be ugly. I don't like people who have bad hygiene, or dont take care of themselves. As far as personality traits that I dont like? I mean, yeah, i can get uncomfortable, but mostly it just makes me feel incompatable romantically. It doesn't mean i think you're ugly.
-How do I know I'm pansexual?
I've dated a trans person before. It didn't bother me at all. I've dated females and males. Didn't bother me. Honestly, I thought I was asexual for a little bit because I had lost all interest in anything sexual for a time, but pansexual makes more sense since i do actually get sexually attracted to people, but it's not really based on a gender thing. It's more like your actions towards me, and sometimes even others. If I see that you're generous, funny, and you actually show an interest in what i have to say, I'm more likely to find you as someone i would want to be with romantically. I like different personality traits, and i like it when people show that they care just like anyone else.
-Does you being sexual towards me bother me?
It does make me uncomfortable. Me getting attracted to others sexually is a bit more complicated (if you couldn't already tell.) If you just randomly want to RP doing it all the time, or want me to draw lewd pictures left and right (especially for free. I mean, I'm uncomfortable as it is drawing the stuff...), I mean...that's not even really much to do with my orientation. I just am a shy person in general, and I really dont like to just be randomly expected to RP sex out of nowhere like that. It feels similar to being catcalled or hit on to me, and I really am not comfortable in person with that, either.
-What do you want out of a relationship?
Depends on the relationship, for one. I want someone to spend my time with that i can feel safe and comfortable around. I want to feel like i belong and whoever it is cares about what i have to say. I've consistently listened to others, given advice, been walked all over, but I've always fallen short of being as nice to myself as I am to others. Generally, I've been used, emotionally battered, and ignored throughout much of my life. I want what most people want out of a relationship. Someone who cares as much as I do, and to go on adventures and have fun together. The rest? Well, it's up to me and whoever it is I end up with, but personally, is really like to travel and see/experience as much as I can before my time runs out.
I'm not sure if I've covered them all, but many of these are kind of in the direction of what I've been asked. I dont like arrogance, ignorance, selfishness, or things of that sort, but many people don't.
If I'm chatting with you, and you constantly try to one up me, prove me wrong, or not even show concern for my opinions or feelings, of course I'll be irritated. Wouldn't you be?
If i just waltzed up and made you feel like nothing you say mattered....none of your hopes, fears, anything matter at all, but you consider me a 'friend' wouldn't you be upset?
I'm a perfectly normal person. Just because I like something different or my opinions are different does not mean you have the right to treat me like dirt, to act like nothing I do matters, to be so entitled that you feel your opinions overwrite mine.
I know many other people feel this way, too, toward some people. It's not fair for anyone to feel like they are below someone just because they want to sit on their butt and be arrogant or ignorant and pretend like nothing you say or do can make a difference.
Either way, I get a lot of the points you made here and agree with most of them!
You be you! And don't let anyone tell you otherwise! <3
It sounds like you're settling in to the things that are most important to you, and that's great!