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Wrap It Up
8 years ago
General
Hey, it's been a few days but I've stepped one year closer to my true and destined age of 69. Do I feel different now? More enlightened perhaps? No, I just feel slightly more jaded than before. Doesn't really matter but nothing really does if you want to be an asshole about it.
Anyway, You guys should be expecting a post sooner or later with the 300+ watcher YCH, won't be decided who gets it until after that post arrives. Please note me if you don't want to be involved with this.
I've been wondering for a while now if my more invested watchers have been seeing a lack of what they liked here, I draw in free time so when I think of something I would like to see I draw it. Biggest problem with this process is that I'm a very varied fishing lure, I draw straight stuff, gay stuff, and trans stuff with many other small fetishes in between. What worries me most isn't that I'm not drawing what I want but that I'm not drawing what large portions of you guys watched me originally for. My art style has also been changing with every other post I make and I don't know if that is a problem anyone has, do any of you wish I made more traditional work or do you hate how I shade my current art? This is all just rambling and you guys may be fine with everything considering I've only ever lost one watcher so this may be irreverent for all I know. The main point of this crap is that if you're disappointed in anything I'm not doing I really do apologize but I can't really do anything about it, I'm twenty two years old now but I've only been really drawing stuff for six years now and I've only started to steadily "improve" about two n' a half years ago. What that means is that if I do something that you think is "great" and then in the next image you don't see the same greatness it's probably because I didn't realize what I did so please continue to be patient with me, I mean, I'm only popular for my porn art so it's not like you people are inspecting every corner of my art it's mostly just "is this sexy or not?"
That being said the whole question on whether my art is "sexy" worries me the most, I don't know if it's the same for all artists but I physically can't get attracted to any of my art so I really don't know if my art is "sexy" or not myself. I look at other popular and non popular porn art to see which side I fall but my art looks quite different from a whole lot of other people's art so I'm always confused. Is my art looking so different from other peoples art a good thing or a horrible terrible thing?
Don't get me wrong I love the attention I'm steadily getting but I wonder if anything I do really matters and if the reason why my non porn art isn't popular because the only reason why anyone would pay attention to my art would be because it's porn. I'm not going to stop drawing/uploading porn art because I'm a pervert at heart just so you don't get the wrong impression.
I've been looking at my old art and wondering if I should delete everything I cringe at but I hate people who delete old stuff from their accounts so the great hypocritical demon sits on my shoulder nodding at me every time I think of this. In one way all the old art does is turn people away from scrolling down too far when looking at my gallery and in another way people look at the art and reflect on how I've "improved."
I might delete them and I'm just writing this so you know why anything might turn up missing in the near future.
Someone asked me a day ago about my Picarto account and why I don't stream, I already answered this person but I'm mentioning this just in case anyone else has wondered but didn't ask. The answer is that quite simply I can't stream right now because my computer and my internet both don't really agree with streaming, I've tried streaming in the past and it was just a struggle for everyone involved. My at program was lagging and my Open Broadcaster shut down and refused to connect a few times too many. For now streaming is impossible.
Also regarding my streaming art, even if I could stream I probably wouldn't because of my work flow. My work flow is completely trash, I take an hour or two for the sketch, then the line work takes another hour or two, and finally the coloring takes me three plus hours to finish. I feel like I would bore the living hell out of anyone who watched me so all options regarding streaming are for now completely busted.
On another note regarding my art I really have been wondering if people would care about pay wall shit with my art, what that would be is pretty much one or two open slots for paid commission/YCH work every month or every two weeks. I don't know if my quality is there yet or if you guys would rather me keep on going with my own art. I feel like it's a boundary crossing position and I don't know if you guys think it would be cool for me to cross that line or not. Once you start the paid process the art is more other people's ideas than your own so I dunno. Any ideas or input there is great.
This whole Journal has seemed to just be rambling from me but all people start to ramble more as they age so maybe I'm just aging like milk left on a table during summer without any cap sealing the milk from the air.
To finish I want to genuinely ask the people who always look at my uploads whether it's your thing or not a question, what did you like enough about this page or my art to watch me? Also I know everybody tries to be nice and not actually answer this other question but what do you hate about me? What is it that you just don't like about my art, me, or this page?
This question isn't really intended to improve my art it's mostly intended to improve how I interact towards you guys or general onlookers.
Anyway, You guys should be expecting a post sooner or later with the 300+ watcher YCH, won't be decided who gets it until after that post arrives. Please note me if you don't want to be involved with this.
I've been wondering for a while now if my more invested watchers have been seeing a lack of what they liked here, I draw in free time so when I think of something I would like to see I draw it. Biggest problem with this process is that I'm a very varied fishing lure, I draw straight stuff, gay stuff, and trans stuff with many other small fetishes in between. What worries me most isn't that I'm not drawing what I want but that I'm not drawing what large portions of you guys watched me originally for. My art style has also been changing with every other post I make and I don't know if that is a problem anyone has, do any of you wish I made more traditional work or do you hate how I shade my current art? This is all just rambling and you guys may be fine with everything considering I've only ever lost one watcher so this may be irreverent for all I know. The main point of this crap is that if you're disappointed in anything I'm not doing I really do apologize but I can't really do anything about it, I'm twenty two years old now but I've only been really drawing stuff for six years now and I've only started to steadily "improve" about two n' a half years ago. What that means is that if I do something that you think is "great" and then in the next image you don't see the same greatness it's probably because I didn't realize what I did so please continue to be patient with me, I mean, I'm only popular for my porn art so it's not like you people are inspecting every corner of my art it's mostly just "is this sexy or not?"
That being said the whole question on whether my art is "sexy" worries me the most, I don't know if it's the same for all artists but I physically can't get attracted to any of my art so I really don't know if my art is "sexy" or not myself. I look at other popular and non popular porn art to see which side I fall but my art looks quite different from a whole lot of other people's art so I'm always confused. Is my art looking so different from other peoples art a good thing or a horrible terrible thing?
Don't get me wrong I love the attention I'm steadily getting but I wonder if anything I do really matters and if the reason why my non porn art isn't popular because the only reason why anyone would pay attention to my art would be because it's porn. I'm not going to stop drawing/uploading porn art because I'm a pervert at heart just so you don't get the wrong impression.
I've been looking at my old art and wondering if I should delete everything I cringe at but I hate people who delete old stuff from their accounts so the great hypocritical demon sits on my shoulder nodding at me every time I think of this. In one way all the old art does is turn people away from scrolling down too far when looking at my gallery and in another way people look at the art and reflect on how I've "improved."
I might delete them and I'm just writing this so you know why anything might turn up missing in the near future.
Someone asked me a day ago about my Picarto account and why I don't stream, I already answered this person but I'm mentioning this just in case anyone else has wondered but didn't ask. The answer is that quite simply I can't stream right now because my computer and my internet both don't really agree with streaming, I've tried streaming in the past and it was just a struggle for everyone involved. My at program was lagging and my Open Broadcaster shut down and refused to connect a few times too many. For now streaming is impossible.
Also regarding my streaming art, even if I could stream I probably wouldn't because of my work flow. My work flow is completely trash, I take an hour or two for the sketch, then the line work takes another hour or two, and finally the coloring takes me three plus hours to finish. I feel like I would bore the living hell out of anyone who watched me so all options regarding streaming are for now completely busted.
On another note regarding my art I really have been wondering if people would care about pay wall shit with my art, what that would be is pretty much one or two open slots for paid commission/YCH work every month or every two weeks. I don't know if my quality is there yet or if you guys would rather me keep on going with my own art. I feel like it's a boundary crossing position and I don't know if you guys think it would be cool for me to cross that line or not. Once you start the paid process the art is more other people's ideas than your own so I dunno. Any ideas or input there is great.
This whole Journal has seemed to just be rambling from me but all people start to ramble more as they age so maybe I'm just aging like milk left on a table during summer without any cap sealing the milk from the air.
To finish I want to genuinely ask the people who always look at my uploads whether it's your thing or not a question, what did you like enough about this page or my art to watch me? Also I know everybody tries to be nice and not actually answer this other question but what do you hate about me? What is it that you just don't like about my art, me, or this page?
This question isn't really intended to improve my art it's mostly intended to improve how I interact towards you guys or general onlookers.
*Obligatory questions I have for you mostly because they seem to have been in enough journals where I mostly just like having them as journal gravy that you can answer or not answer*
1: what do you like about my art/want to see more of?
2: what do you hate about my art/want to see no more of?
3: what do you like about my page/me?
4:what do you hate about my page/me?
5: what genre of art introduced you to my channel?
6: did you get introduced to me from any place other than furaffinity?
*Answering any of these questions is helpful to me but not necessary*
((Any and all criticisms about anything I post or do is always greatly appreciated))