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The Independent Cat Party vs the Gregarious Dog Party
8 years ago
A Brief History of US Politics, if they were cats and dogs.
The Independent Cat Party vs the Gregarious Dog Party
Looking back it feels like the Cats have spent the past twenty years telling their followers that The Wolves are Coming to Eat Your Babies, and recently began morphing into the Leopards Eating Your Face Party. Meanwhile the Dogs have been friendly and gregarious and their community has been growing faster than the cats, to the point where it might start being impossible for the Cats to ever win again, and are starting to be serious about passing laws outlawing Face Eating. However the truth is that a few decades ago both of them were more accurately called the Wolves Eating Your Face party and the Leopards Eating Your Face party - but then the wolves changed and seriously dialled back on their Face Eating activities, and the leopards didn't. (Or at least not nearly as far or fast.) This is in fact is why the Wolves turned Dogs have been able to grow their community so fast.
This leads up to 2016, where the Independent Cats are frightened that the Gregarious Dogs are going to actually outlaw Face Eating, a sacred part of their culture, and know full well the only reason it hasn't happened yet is one of the highest ranking cats in the land has refused to do his job. The Dogs meanwhile are getting seriously angry with the Cats for continuing to advocate things they have come to see as unconscionable, and are worried that they are going to do something stupid and damaging. And then the Cats, riding a surge of fear over the decline of Face Eating culture, somehow get a bright orange marmalade tomcat elected. Now the Dogs don't just fear the Cats will do something stupid, they've just watched them doing it. And again multiple times since then. The Cats meanwhile have found they have a tiger by the tail, and are desperately holding on as this is the only way they can achieve their goals. Which appears to be a mix of burning down everything the Dogs have ever made, and stacking the Supreme Court to the point where they can make all forms of Face Eating legal again, forever.
That's kinda how we get into a position where the Dogs and Cats both think the other is about to do something terrible. And which side you agree with depends on what you think Face Eating actually represents, and whether outlawing or legalising it is the more evil option.
The Independent Cat Party vs the Gregarious Dog Party
Looking back it feels like the Cats have spent the past twenty years telling their followers that The Wolves are Coming to Eat Your Babies, and recently began morphing into the Leopards Eating Your Face Party. Meanwhile the Dogs have been friendly and gregarious and their community has been growing faster than the cats, to the point where it might start being impossible for the Cats to ever win again, and are starting to be serious about passing laws outlawing Face Eating. However the truth is that a few decades ago both of them were more accurately called the Wolves Eating Your Face party and the Leopards Eating Your Face party - but then the wolves changed and seriously dialled back on their Face Eating activities, and the leopards didn't. (Or at least not nearly as far or fast.) This is in fact is why the Wolves turned Dogs have been able to grow their community so fast.
This leads up to 2016, where the Independent Cats are frightened that the Gregarious Dogs are going to actually outlaw Face Eating, a sacred part of their culture, and know full well the only reason it hasn't happened yet is one of the highest ranking cats in the land has refused to do his job. The Dogs meanwhile are getting seriously angry with the Cats for continuing to advocate things they have come to see as unconscionable, and are worried that they are going to do something stupid and damaging. And then the Cats, riding a surge of fear over the decline of Face Eating culture, somehow get a bright orange marmalade tomcat elected. Now the Dogs don't just fear the Cats will do something stupid, they've just watched them doing it. And again multiple times since then. The Cats meanwhile have found they have a tiger by the tail, and are desperately holding on as this is the only way they can achieve their goals. Which appears to be a mix of burning down everything the Dogs have ever made, and stacking the Supreme Court to the point where they can make all forms of Face Eating legal again, forever.
That's kinda how we get into a position where the Dogs and Cats both think the other is about to do something terrible. And which side you agree with depends on what you think Face Eating actually represents, and whether outlawing or legalising it is the more evil option.
Scary bright orange tom cat will continue to find stupid things to say where not even the most cynical of us can find anything to say at all.
ZZ
"And now for something completely different":
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN8ePrMYvRI