I've been conscripted scine about 7 months ago... I wanna kill myself. I'd rather die than live to rest on the ground like this.I used to be an artist. I'm so happy when my drawings get loved by people. I love to ineract with other artists, sharing thoughts about the art. However, I've been separated from the society, Losing everything that I used to love. People in the army are so stupid. Most of them have never been in the highschool. I've been even getting bullied. Some of my squadamtes hate me because I'm too small and weak (I'm only 158cm tall.) I always do my best on my job. I've been exercising hard. but I can't change myself in a short time. I used to be a fem boy when I wasn't a soldier (Don't call me a fag. It's just my preference). Today's the last day of the short vacation. I don't wanna go back to the hell... I'm proud about protecting my own country but I don't wanna waste my youth on trying to be a person who isn't who I am anymore... Save me