My grandma died in hospice on Monday, August 14th a little before midnight. I am unable to actually function. It takes everything I have just to get out of bed at all, and some days I just don't bother with food because it means going upstairs. A lot of my family seem to be starting to move on with their lives, and I am still stuck here wondering what the fuck happened. A month ago grandma was at home sitting on her bed talking with me. Now when I go in her room it's dark and empty. Things haven't been touched in 2 weeks.

Basically this is the reason I haven't been posting and until I manage to either pull through or not, this will be the way things are for a while.

I don't think I've ever felt a pain this bad in my entire life.