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My 12th anniversary
8 years ago
General
September 4th again, another anniversary of when I began to draw. The 12th one, and this time I have nothing to really show for it. Oh well!
I'd like to take this time to stop and think about something that occurred to me. I've often invested my time into things and tried to get something out of them. In earlier childhood it was just stuff like collecting paper notepad sheets, stamps, Pogs, Pokemon stuff... Later for several years Warcraft 3 and its map editor occupied me, but even with that, any ideas I had never went far beyond the concept stage.
After that, I got to 2 pursuits, which actually do last until today: drawing and video making. I feel like I might just focus on drawing, cause we're celebrating my anniversary of me starting that today.
I see myself as terribly inferior to basically all content creators on all websites that I post my work on. I've been doing this for 12 years, and yet I still seem to make lesser content than someone who's just been doing it for 2 years. Perhaps there's been general issues like me lacking talent, me not being committed enough, however now that I have a full time job, all of this got even worse, and at times I feel like I'm regressing. I no longer have time to really drawing singular images, work on them for days... I'd rather work on my comic, which takes years to be made regardless, and that feels so ridiculous, and crazy!
I get frustrated with myself, and hardly ever do I feel satisfied with my work, but you know what? I do feel happy that I've decided to go for this.
All those previously mentioned things (not video making) got me nowhere. They feel like wasted time. Maybe Warcraft 3 was passable, but... ehh. Drawing (and video making) are the first things where I'm doing something, making something, presenting it to the world and … it's there. I dare to create it. I put time and effort, publish it online, and in spite of what I think of it, there are people who like it. It feels like it's worth it. It feels like something worth the time. At the end of the day, I do not regret that I decided to do this, and I plan to continue doing this as time goes!!!!
Thank you for your attention!
I'd like to take this time to stop and think about something that occurred to me. I've often invested my time into things and tried to get something out of them. In earlier childhood it was just stuff like collecting paper notepad sheets, stamps, Pogs, Pokemon stuff... Later for several years Warcraft 3 and its map editor occupied me, but even with that, any ideas I had never went far beyond the concept stage.
After that, I got to 2 pursuits, which actually do last until today: drawing and video making. I feel like I might just focus on drawing, cause we're celebrating my anniversary of me starting that today.
I see myself as terribly inferior to basically all content creators on all websites that I post my work on. I've been doing this for 12 years, and yet I still seem to make lesser content than someone who's just been doing it for 2 years. Perhaps there's been general issues like me lacking talent, me not being committed enough, however now that I have a full time job, all of this got even worse, and at times I feel like I'm regressing. I no longer have time to really drawing singular images, work on them for days... I'd rather work on my comic, which takes years to be made regardless, and that feels so ridiculous, and crazy!
I get frustrated with myself, and hardly ever do I feel satisfied with my work, but you know what? I do feel happy that I've decided to go for this.
All those previously mentioned things (not video making) got me nowhere. They feel like wasted time. Maybe Warcraft 3 was passable, but... ehh. Drawing (and video making) are the first things where I'm doing something, making something, presenting it to the world and … it's there. I dare to create it. I put time and effort, publish it online, and in spite of what I think of it, there are people who like it. It feels like it's worth it. It feels like something worth the time. At the end of the day, I do not regret that I decided to do this, and I plan to continue doing this as time goes!!!!
Thank you for your attention!
Still, I'm told it's quite typical for artists to suffer because of their art