Cursed to be invisible.
8 years ago
General
So this is more of a vent than anything, like a while back. More to just let it out than aim anything at anyone. In my life, I've never been anything special. I've never stood out. I never did anything good. I barely had friends all my life. But as I grow older, I notice myself fading away. *Not literally people come on now. I wish* The more it goes, the more easily people forget about me, and the more and more I just get ignored. When I'm witha groupd of people, I can't speak. No one pays attention to me. *To be fair it has been months since I was with a group of people now* Even online, I talk in group chats and no one answers. I target specific individuals. Is use the @ mention on discord and nothing. I get flat out ignored. I send a message to someone and they just never answer back. I have hotten in contact with very good arist that have flat out just ignored me. Artist that *from my knowledge* are quite good and appreciated persons. I'm invisible. And it's not because I'm a dick or anything. The handful *quite literally* or people I talk to on a regular basis seem to enjoy my company. *Or at least that's hoe it seems* I don't know what to do. I'm tryin to convince myself that I'll just have to deal with the fact that I'll always be alone. But I just find no peace even in accepting that. I CAN'T accept that. I'm not a loner. I'm not an introvert person. I need people. I need life. I need love. I need someone to hold in my arms. But I just can't. But maybe it's my fault. Maybe I'm just not doing the right things. I probably just can't Human good enough.
Anyway. Yeah. Like all of my journals ever it'll more than probably just be ignored. I guess thanks to those that read it al.
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