it seems like im almost destined to not be apart or welcomed in any group or people on second life. furs that are all about sex and one night stands and even making porn videos only get all the love and shit, while im actually trying to make a family/clan to rp with and just have fun together and nobody wants to be apart of it. its bad enough that i feel like in the real world nobody really likes me or wants me to even exist, but to even feel that way about second life really drives the nail in the coffin for me. im not without my own faults but im always trying to help others and make them smile despite wanting to die day in and day out. i feel my existence is meaningless every day and in the past 24 hours my own work has made me feel that way too.

this journal is to merely me wondering why no matter what i do im not welcomed or people say they want me around but hardly spend time with me at all. im a good and loving guy that has his flaws and jagged edges. but once you give me a chance you will see that im a very good friend and a great support system. all i want in return is to see my friends and just spend time with people that i love and care about. i love to also make a family and clan as well as a village sim where we all can feel safe. i dont have much of a home on sl so im looking into funding a homestead on my own when im able to, but i need to find people to clan or family with.