FA+
Shop
Never Stop Growing
8 years ago
General
This has been a really interesting few weeks mentally for me. While I know you never stop learning things about yourself, I thought the majority of "discovering" myself was pretty much done. Little things I was expecting, but the big "Oh now that makes sense" moments I wasn't expecting. Now given my past, I really shouldn't be surprised but...you know. Meh.
So what are these, "Oh shit moments?" Well he's an example, I was convinced that I needed to be social to be happier. My mom never let me out and socialize as a kid. I had one friend growing up that I was allowed to hang out with. And when I got older me getting out of the house was...well amazing. I hated being home, I hated being around my mom and her girlfriend, I hated the fighting etc. So I started associating being social with being happy. I kept this belief for a long time. This has lead to a lot of frustration though because I'm not all that good at being social. I don't do well with small talk. I don't do well with introductions. I stutter when I speak. I get easily flustered around a lot of people. I get mad/angry when people don't hear me in conversations. So on and so fourth. I forced myself to go to social things, and honestly I spent more time counting down the time till I could go home and play games. And one of the things that clicked with me is that, I'm NOT a social person. I cherish and love the handful of friends I can hold long, in-depth, conversations with, but I don't do well with just socializing to socialize, and that's fine. I just made an association with "social" = "happier" because of my home life at the time. So that's one.
Another, fairly big one, that I've come to relative terms with a bit ago is I don't need a career that "cares/helps people" now lemme explain that a bit. My first career choice was a trauma psychologist, so helping people with bad pasts/abuse/ etc. Now growing up It was shoved into my head that I needed to help people in order to feel fulfilled in a career. Money didn't matter, happiness didn't matter, I just needed to help people. I needed to help people around me. Now while that sounds wonderful and all, not everyone CAN do a career like that. Well apparently the idea still lingered in my head. Do you all know of personality tests? For the longest time I was ISFP, it hasn't changed since high school. I recently retook it, but I listened to my inner self and not the voice of, "You have to care/want to help people" and the results were VASTLY different. I now sit in the INTJ spectrum. Which, when I read it, sounded so much more like me. Now some of you may be saying, "oh those things are junk..." try taking it, it's actually very insightful, I'll provide a link to the one I took.
This also helped me realize that IT may not be the career field I want to do. I'm highly considering going back and finishing out my B.A. in psychology, but not for the career I was first considering. It would honestly more be for interest as well as to HAVE a degree to use. A part of me still wants to try and get into working with exotic animals and such(such a typical furry I know).
And another that has stood out to me, also related to the personality test, is what I value in friends and what I look for in friends. Now first lemme say, it is impossible to be good friends with everyone, and thats okay. It's okay if you find yourself thinking the current friends you have just don't match, that is also fine. Sometimes opposites help. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes you need commonalities over differences. Sometimes you need that difference to balance you out. It all depends. Personally I have figured out that in friends I more prefer if out core values are about aligned or I just become very very frustrated with the person in question. Before I wanted to be friends with all the people, but I've learned it's okay for me to be picky. It's okay for me to have a small handful of good friends. Because honestly I just get frustrated otherwise.
But yea, those are some things I've thought of, come to realizations of over the past week or two. Its amazing what happens when you have literally nothing to think about at work.
If you wanna take a pretty accurate personality test I suggest this one: https://www.16personalities.com
So what are these, "Oh shit moments?" Well he's an example, I was convinced that I needed to be social to be happier. My mom never let me out and socialize as a kid. I had one friend growing up that I was allowed to hang out with. And when I got older me getting out of the house was...well amazing. I hated being home, I hated being around my mom and her girlfriend, I hated the fighting etc. So I started associating being social with being happy. I kept this belief for a long time. This has lead to a lot of frustration though because I'm not all that good at being social. I don't do well with small talk. I don't do well with introductions. I stutter when I speak. I get easily flustered around a lot of people. I get mad/angry when people don't hear me in conversations. So on and so fourth. I forced myself to go to social things, and honestly I spent more time counting down the time till I could go home and play games. And one of the things that clicked with me is that, I'm NOT a social person. I cherish and love the handful of friends I can hold long, in-depth, conversations with, but I don't do well with just socializing to socialize, and that's fine. I just made an association with "social" = "happier" because of my home life at the time. So that's one.
Another, fairly big one, that I've come to relative terms with a bit ago is I don't need a career that "cares/helps people" now lemme explain that a bit. My first career choice was a trauma psychologist, so helping people with bad pasts/abuse/ etc. Now growing up It was shoved into my head that I needed to help people in order to feel fulfilled in a career. Money didn't matter, happiness didn't matter, I just needed to help people. I needed to help people around me. Now while that sounds wonderful and all, not everyone CAN do a career like that. Well apparently the idea still lingered in my head. Do you all know of personality tests? For the longest time I was ISFP, it hasn't changed since high school. I recently retook it, but I listened to my inner self and not the voice of, "You have to care/want to help people" and the results were VASTLY different. I now sit in the INTJ spectrum. Which, when I read it, sounded so much more like me. Now some of you may be saying, "oh those things are junk..." try taking it, it's actually very insightful, I'll provide a link to the one I took.
This also helped me realize that IT may not be the career field I want to do. I'm highly considering going back and finishing out my B.A. in psychology, but not for the career I was first considering. It would honestly more be for interest as well as to HAVE a degree to use. A part of me still wants to try and get into working with exotic animals and such(such a typical furry I know).
And another that has stood out to me, also related to the personality test, is what I value in friends and what I look for in friends. Now first lemme say, it is impossible to be good friends with everyone, and thats okay. It's okay if you find yourself thinking the current friends you have just don't match, that is also fine. Sometimes opposites help. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes you need commonalities over differences. Sometimes you need that difference to balance you out. It all depends. Personally I have figured out that in friends I more prefer if out core values are about aligned or I just become very very frustrated with the person in question. Before I wanted to be friends with all the people, but I've learned it's okay for me to be picky. It's okay for me to have a small handful of good friends. Because honestly I just get frustrated otherwise.
But yea, those are some things I've thought of, come to realizations of over the past week or two. Its amazing what happens when you have literally nothing to think about at work.
If you wanna take a pretty accurate personality test I suggest this one: https://www.16personalities.com
