Oh shit.... Well, be like my mom and be utterly convinced that it is no challenge to you, and you can beat it easily. Mental toughness might be he key, and you always struck me as tough.
Offered with all kindness and compassion: Shane Koyczan's "The Crickets have Arthritis", on the topic of all the reasons to scream fuck cancer. -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kKh1es5vBQ
All the best
Be safe, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know.
And if it altogether too much, he has Instructions for a Bad Day, too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7OGY1Jxp3o
Take the time you need. When you are ready, reach for the hands that would lead you gently back to joy.
Mourn.. Be strong. Live on. For them, and all the others.
Much love, my friend.