Checkout line. Buying BBQ peanuts. Stoned as fuck. It's time to pay. Sweat forming on my forehead. Years of training for this very moment. Sharp intake of breath. I insert my visa. Every second counts. *not yet* Sweat pooling on my forehead *damnit not yet* Stranger behind me coughs. Briefly distracted. *pull out* I can do this. *PULL YOUR CARD OUT NOW* Panic. Distress. Then, action. Card retracted moments before nuclear detonation. A world saved. A reassuring hand on my shoulder. "The BBQ is yours now." It's none other than Guy Fieri..


True story. 🙏🙏🙏