I have recently told you about my degrading health, depression and anxiety and other issues and how this freelance contract I had was a major source of these.

       Yesterday I could finally sit down with the client face to face and tell them about my situation honestly. At that point I was so stressed and anxious that I was shaking and had a hard time talking and breathing, so they could clearly see I'm not joking. To my great relief, the meeting ended with the best possible outcome: they were not only fully understanding, but they simply told me to keep the remaining advance payment and just get better. In short, I quit without obligations, and they leave the door open for me if I want to work with them again in the future once my health is sorted out.

       I can't express in words what a relief this was to me. I literally cried a little, even though I'm not a crying type at all. I felt that all the pressure is slowly crushing and suffocating me and now it's gone. I still have pressure from my backlog of course, but that's not comparable - my backlog is stuff I normally enjoy working on, but this job turned out to be a pain. The clients are really great people on the human level, but to work with them was a nightmare. In retrospect I was absolutely not the type of person they need for this job, but I've only learned that way into it.

       So now the only obligation I have is my commission backlog, and apart from a few small pieces I will do to have my bills paid, I can focus on that completely.

       I will still need some time to get better but I expect my productivity to gradually increase from now on.