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please stop calling me man words
8 years ago
please do not call me he him sir dude mr or anything of the sort. I have not one time in nearly ten years of using this website identified myself as male, and have consistently had disclaimers to the contrary on my pages. Some people I have even told directly multiple times not to do it, without them claiming to have a problem with that. Short of posting a photograph of myself as a woman (which I won't do because I do not post pictures of me, at all) , what do I need to do to make it stop? Even "thanks for the watch" is pleasant by comparison.
On a website where people easily, without criticism or protest, get away with claiming to be rodents, aliens, robots, pooltoys, and even multiple people, what must I do? Stop it, please, I hate it. Please call me it, that, them, frebitz, scragthroz, or even her if necessary, but nothing in the y chromosome vicinity, unless you are deliberately trying to annoy me, which, I acknowledge, is very easy, especially when I am in pleisto mode. No need to comment here unless you have a question or an argument.
Ridiculous, I know, but if one person does it, that screws me up for the whole week, like more so than usual, even.
Thank you and goop muck.
On a website where people easily, without criticism or protest, get away with claiming to be rodents, aliens, robots, pooltoys, and even multiple people, what must I do? Stop it, please, I hate it. Please call me it, that, them, frebitz, scragthroz, or even her if necessary, but nothing in the y chromosome vicinity, unless you are deliberately trying to annoy me, which, I acknowledge, is very easy, especially when I am in pleisto mode. No need to comment here unless you have a question or an argument.
Ridiculous, I know, but if one person does it, that screws me up for the whole week, like more so than usual, even.
Thank you and goop muck.
>what do I need to do to make it stop?
You can't totally control other people (except if those people are fictional). A few jerks always slip through the cracks in pretty much any situation.
That said I think that calm, confident corrections may be the best policy--and/or, putting your pronouns up prominent, like a big sign saying she/her or [female symbol]. I think that, being specific in proscription rather than nonspecific, may help.
Remind me, do you want they/them/their?
I suppose I do not have such a big problem with that specific word, since I never encounter it in corporate or government issued fake-friendly form letters, but I wrote this in a strange mood and wanted to dump everything into it. Yes, the they family are welcome.
I feel VERY much the same about any feminine pronouns -- 'hun, dear, sweetheart, love, darling' - it's actually to the point that I can't leave it alone, I have to reply and ask people nicely not to ever do it, and I always feel like an ass being so sensitive about it, but it just comes across as horribly demeaning to me personally. There's no faster way to make me defensive and angry -- It simply feels like disrespect to who I am, and the one thing I don't tolerate is personal disrespect. I wish I wasn't so uptight about it but it's just the way I feel despite having tried very hard not to let it get to me -- most people don't mean those words in hurtful ways and it's in fact part of *their* personality to use them, so I try to understand that, but -- alas, it still feels like a slap to the face every time. My point is, I understand, and I'm sincerely sorry if I ever personally called you any masculine pronouns without the intention of assigning any kind of gender stereotype towards you at all.
I used to actually state it on my profile, but again, it makes me feel like an ass to publicly say 'hey, this makes me feel insane, please don't', and then feel further like an ass when I personally reply to notes where people say things like 'Thanks hun!' and I can't just get over it. Goodness, I wish I could.
I alternate between being ashamed of myself and angry at the world, and the anger comes out more as I feel more frustrated, as if I want to force something, good or bad, to happen. When things are going well, I perhaps fixate on words less. I have no recollection of you calling me anything. It is most likely to occur when somebody speaks OF me, and I have not been aware of you doing that.
Why do you have trouble in streams? I've found similar things -- attempts at being friendly and conversive with less-than-friendly artist types always ends with me feeling like shit, most times, for attempting to socialize with people who play silly games.
Sorry if I did.
Especially with the finality presented in this journal (even if they don't read the journal the title is right there)
Reminded me of this.