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Uploads Will Continue ..... And an Obvious Confession
8 years ago
So to put things into perspective....
As far as art goes, 2014 and 2015 were insane... INSANE years for me. I was commissioning artists fucking left and right with no indication of ever slowing down.
I am going to say it right now so there's absolutely no confusion or misunderstanding:
There you go. All out in the open.
I'm not naive. I knew it was an addiction. Probably most of you knew this as well. I was riding that train until the last stop. Only I didn't get to that last stop. The bridge was out. And the train fell right into the ravine.
In mid 2016, I started feeling a financial strain. My bank account had depleted and I had begun tapping into my savings. And I kept commissioning art. I even broke the cardinal rule of never using my credit card to make a purchase.
Finally I stopped. But not because I realized what I was doing... oh no. Not at all. I stopped because the money was gone. All of it.
By this point, we were rolling into early 2017. I finally stopped to think about what I was doing. I looked through my finances and what I was earning from my job and decided that needed to be done:
1) I needed rebuild my savings first before anything else. I started taking a significant (but not crippling) amount from each paycheck and putting it back into my depleted savings account. I made a promise NEVER to touch this account except for ACTUAL EMERGENCIES.
2) Focus on paying my debts, rent, bills, food, etc without having my bank account reaching single digits (and possibly dip into the negatives). That occurred way too much while I was commissioning art like it was going out of style.
3) AFTER all that was settled, any extra money I had was fun money. Eating out, buying games, saving for trips and cons, and even buying ART.... yes art. I enjoy art still.
I became much more methodical about it all. It also made me a much more stingy bastard. Artists that I would have easily thrown $200 at in the past, now I had to think twice about. I was (finally) thinking about the future. Sadly, it also meant that a lot of artists that I would commission frequently, I could no longer buy from.
Once upon a time, I felt compelled to give artists as much of my money as possible to support them, because they needed it. Nowadays, however, I've come to realization that these artists are doing perfectly fine without my support. There's so many other people are supporting them. This makes me happy..... and relieved. I can actually focus on my own well being for a change.
It's never a good idea to go out of your way to help someone if it's going to impact you in a negative way. Great. You helped someone pay their rent for the month. But now your rent is due and you're lacking money (because you gave it away).
Yeah. That's the kind of person I was.
Anyway, thanks for reading (or not). I just mostly typed up this long ramble as a means of self-therapy.
Whatever. I dunno. Back to the smut.
As far as art goes, 2014 and 2015 were insane... INSANE years for me. I was commissioning artists fucking left and right with no indication of ever slowing down.
I am going to say it right now so there's absolutely no confusion or misunderstanding:
IT WAS AN ADDICTIONThere you go. All out in the open.
I'm not naive. I knew it was an addiction. Probably most of you knew this as well. I was riding that train until the last stop. Only I didn't get to that last stop. The bridge was out. And the train fell right into the ravine.
In mid 2016, I started feeling a financial strain. My bank account had depleted and I had begun tapping into my savings. And I kept commissioning art. I even broke the cardinal rule of never using my credit card to make a purchase.
Finally I stopped. But not because I realized what I was doing... oh no. Not at all. I stopped because the money was gone. All of it.
By this point, we were rolling into early 2017. I finally stopped to think about what I was doing. I looked through my finances and what I was earning from my job and decided that needed to be done:
1) I needed rebuild my savings first before anything else. I started taking a significant (but not crippling) amount from each paycheck and putting it back into my depleted savings account. I made a promise NEVER to touch this account except for ACTUAL EMERGENCIES.
2) Focus on paying my debts, rent, bills, food, etc without having my bank account reaching single digits (and possibly dip into the negatives). That occurred way too much while I was commissioning art like it was going out of style.
3) AFTER all that was settled, any extra money I had was fun money. Eating out, buying games, saving for trips and cons, and even buying ART.... yes art. I enjoy art still.
I became much more methodical about it all. It also made me a much more stingy bastard. Artists that I would have easily thrown $200 at in the past, now I had to think twice about. I was (finally) thinking about the future. Sadly, it also meant that a lot of artists that I would commission frequently, I could no longer buy from.
Once upon a time, I felt compelled to give artists as much of my money as possible to support them, because they needed it. Nowadays, however, I've come to realization that these artists are doing perfectly fine without my support. There's so many other people are supporting them. This makes me happy..... and relieved. I can actually focus on my own well being for a change.
It's never a good idea to go out of your way to help someone if it's going to impact you in a negative way. Great. You helped someone pay their rent for the month. But now your rent is due and you're lacking money (because you gave it away).
Yeah. That's the kind of person I was.
Anyway, thanks for reading (or not). I just mostly typed up this long ramble as a means of self-therapy.
Whatever. I dunno. Back to the smut.
The lesson here: Learn from my mistakes... DON'T DO THE STUPID SHIT I DID
Too late for me, but that's beside the point. I will make a journal like this sometime, but that's going to be years from now, once things are "fixed" as best they can be.
Once again, I thank you so much dude. It really means a lot to me that you went out of your way to tell me about this a few months ago instead of just letting me get on with it. You might not see it, but you really are an inspiration to me. Thank you so much! *Hugs* <3
(Sorry for the long paragraph, btw. I just wanted to show how I felt >~<)
Yeah, I definitely know how it feels. I'm a collector. I'm often walking that line. But you got to be smart about it, as you can put yourself in bad situations...you have to take care of yourself too, and having money set aside is a big part of that.
Personally, I have strict rules that I follow when it comes to commissioning art. They are mostly borne out of artists I've commissioned disappearing with my money, but they've also helped me to regulate how much money I toss into the fandom when I do have some extra to spend. I don't commission artists online unless if I can get some kind of deal or if it is a slot in an ongoing stream that will be finished that day. When I go to cons, I only commission artists on Day 1 for high concept stuff and reserve Day 2 for small or simple art pieces only. I buy multiple art pieces with the understanding that I'll only see about a 50% return on my investment.
to commision stuff
partly because i have TONS of ideas
and quite the bunch of ocs (all of them also could use proper refs )
Anyway, happy you're still there today and congratulations on the responsability you've been able to manage now. Looking forward in still seeing you on Telegram or whatever. ^^