For some, this is a fantastic time of year, and it is! But... I'm catastrophically allergic to mint and its products. If I were to eat a candy cane, I'd be dead in an hour, and reduced to water in 4. Something causes my body to break down into the base elements that a body is made of. I washed my hands with berry mint soap a week ago, and in only minutes, my hands were bleeding, and the skin was disintegrating. Fortunately, DAWN, the dish soap is a reliable cure. And fortunately, I noticed after only two minutes, smelled my hands and rushed to the kitchen. If I had waited any longer, and my hands would've been unusable for a couple days. The skin healed overnight, I've always been fast to recover from an injury, but man... it was scary. If I even took a puff of a cigarette with menthol in it, I'd die in a couple minutes. Same with vape. I have to be very careful around this time of year.

I had an interview recently. It went very well, but there's a new problem. I need to detox quick. :/ I need money so I can eat food. But this company hasn't gotten with the rest of california, and given up. Weed aint bad. It just isn't. It helps me sleep, or relax. Something that most medication can't do for me. Army couldn't fix me, so they dropped me when I became a monster too dangerous to handle, and that was because I wasn't sleeping. There was more to it than that. But the basis of my problems, stems from my lack of sleep. Weed fixes that. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it makes getting a job harder. This is my first interview since July. And will probably be the last until next year. So I'm kinda fucked all around. Every day, laying down and just dieing seems easier and easier, and more and more productive than the nightmare I'm in now.

With any luck, I'll get a job for christmas, and then I'll be set. Some good christmas money wouldn't hurt either. I have some car projects, and personal things I need to pay for. But of course, the cheapest of these things'll run me almost 1k. So life is ass, and it's getting assier, and will probably continue to get assier still. If I could get a job, or at least money with the power of hate, I'd be really fucking rich, but unfortunately, being a angry and lonely man doesn't come with money. If I just had someone to hug every day, I'd feel so much better, but I don't know any young women, and my best bet of getting in someone's bed, even just to cuddle, is craigslist at this point... ewwww.... So it looks like shit sucks, nothing changes, and nothing will. I might as well fake this smile until I destroy myself.