irazombeh

I am sorry.

I have never meant those words more than I do now. What I did this past week was inexcusable and immature of me. I had been hurt by your actions, but that doesn't justify what I did. Allow me to elaborate on why I went so nuts over you.

A Wednesday or so ago, you had cut things off with me, and I was devistated. After musing all night at work, I came back online, going to a personal ad website my 'brother' had given me. I posted an ad online, determined to move forward, when you came back and gave me a second chance. I was elated. I had then proceeded to make plans to meet you, which for your own reasons you decided to miss. I thought by waiting and contacting you with no mention of a relationship of any kind would prompt an explanation. When my message fell through and I discovered that you blocked me, I was infuriated.

Yes, I admit I am the one to blame for this entire mess. I was absolutely nuts over you, although I honestly did not want to rush things. I wanted to wait and meet you face to face, to take you out on an actual date before I called you my girlfriend. I wanted to make sure we had a solid foundation before we made any major life plans.

All the pictures I've posted, they were all in play. Just hopeful images spawned in my imagination. Yes, I took it too far. I went beyond your comfort zone, and I realize that now. I only wished that you would have told me so sooner. All I really wanted from you was honesty.

I want to have a mulligan on the 'second chance' you gave me, but this time, you contact me when you're ready. I'll wait as long as you wish. If you don't want to see me anymore, please let me know now. I want to know whether or not I should start moving ahead, or if there's still some little spark left.

I want one reply from you. Say whatever you want, even if it's just goodbye. I'll be waiting.