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2017 Update -- And Toward 2018
8 years ago
Hello, everyone!
So, it's been a while- a very, very long while. A little over a year since my last journal. 2017 has not been the best year for me, but I am looking forward to 2018. I'm hoping that I can even start the year off with a new commission opening and dedicate more time in the new year towards making more art and having more commission openings. But before we get into that, I wanted to make an important and detailed journal about how this year went and how things have gone for me as a person and as an artist. So this journal will be as much of a 'summary' of 2017 as I can manage. In addition, I finally feel comfortable enough talking about something that happened late last year that was largely the root cause of my inactivity for the past year.
In August of '16, my parents were the victims of a terrible fraud incident. At the time, I had just renewed my second year contract in my first apartment- my finances weren't great, but I had built up a nice 'nest egg' so that I could feel comfortable living on my own, paying rent and bills and such. My parents' house, however, required repairs that their insurance would not pay for. They did not have anywhere near the amount required to make those fixes and would've had to make major sacrifices in order to afford the repairs. I lent my parents the amount so they could get their house fixed. And with that, all of my savings were gone.
For the next year, I lived more or less paycheck to paycheck. I had just renewed a year-long rent contract and couldn't back out of it, and still had monthly student loan payments I had to make. This was when I decided to try and take on a second job, and stop with commissions, so I could focus on increasing my income. Plans of getting myself out of student loan debt were put on hold. While the second job didn't pan out, I still managed to hang on and keep on keeping on. I put a lot of things to the side this past year and it took many months after the insurance incident before I started to even feel like going out to eat or buying myself a new video game was okay. I never wanted to reach out for help during this time because, as difficult as it was, I was still able to make ends meet and pay my bills on time. Regardless of the incident, I was still one of the lucky ones and I never wanted to forget or not be appreciative of what I had, as opposed to many others who did not.
I'm no longer living in my own place; I've moved back in with my parents, as balancing finances got too rough, the apartment rent's increase was too high, and I need to focus on paying back my student loans right now. It's been a heavy blow to my morale and confidence, and something I've felt too embarrassed to talk about. My older siblings have their own families, their own places- and I'm a twenty-six year old adult living with my parents. In addition, my intense focus on my job has meant a lot of other things have come second this year- I wasn't even able to vend at TFF, even though I could attend, because I couldn't get enough time off work. Still, this hardship has had a silver lining, and my hard work has paid off in the form of further advancement, rewards, and recognition at work. And while I still hate getting up so early and coming home so late, I'm comforted by the fact that I know I am valued at my job.
In addition to the heavy blow to my finances, I've also had more troubles with my health as sickness ate away at me and every doctor's visit turned out fruitless and expensive. The best "answer" I've been able to find, through hundreds of dollars and far too many stressful doctor visits, was that I have IBS- incurable and different for each person, there's nothing I can do to 'fix' or even alleviate the stress and pain it causes. This year has consisted of a lot of hours of pain, a lot of 'trying' different foods, and no real solution. Ultimately, I've had to mentally come to terms that I will never know for sure what will make me sick when I sit down to eat, and that therefore I will always have to be prepared for anything to make me sick. It's been a mentally trying and exhausting time, and I'm quite sure this is only the beginning.
Artistically, I don't feel like my art or style has *changed* much since last year. That's not to say I don't think I've improved- I do think I have improved in many ways, small though they may be. Still, there have been times when I've looked at a piece of art I made and thought I made it this year when in fact I made it in 2016, not 2017. It's because of that I feel like I haven't made the biggest or the best strides that I could've, but considering how strenuous this year was, I'm honestly just glad I was able to keep drawing at all throughout it. And yes, I do feel like I've made some good improvements in refining my art, being more focused on improving and finding ways I can make what I'm drawing better. I hope that, no matter what the next year brings, I can at least hold onto that.
Throughout the year, as I've been able to take on a few sparse commissions here and there, it's always been important to me to thank each and every person who supports me. This year has been one of the roughest years I've had that I can remember, and every single positive interaction I've been lucky enough to experience I've desperately held onto as tightly as I could. Some days, it was all that kept me afloat. And while I didn't, couldn't, upload artwork at the rate I would have liked, I still enjoyed every single piece of art I made, every single interaction I had with another member of the furry community, and each moment I spent creating artwork was a moment I will cherish.
While I had intended to raise my prices at the start of 2017, this never happened and at times I wondered if my art was even 'good enough' to charge more for. And throughout the year, I've learned that being a certain level of "good" doesn't necessarily mean higher or lower prices. The prices set by each artist have multiple reasons and often can contain reasons that another artist doesn't have to factor in to their own prices. Over the past three years, I've kept the same prices. I feel comfortable now finally going into a new year and raising my prices.
I am very lucky to have what I have- a roof over my head, a bank account that can pay bills on time, a steady job and a loving family. A car that gets me to and from work, with enough gas as it needs and the ability to pay for repairs when it needs them. However rough this year was for me- and it's tried me to my very core- at the end of the day I always take a step back and acknowledge that things could be much worse, and that I shouldn't take anything that I have for granted. Lastly, I also have you guys- the entire furry fandom has been nothing short of a second family to me ever since I first discovered it. You guys help me grow as a person, as an artist. I've said it once before, but it's worth saying again- without the furry fandom, I would not have art in my life. For all that you guys give me, it's all I can do to give back what I can.
You all can look forward to more art from me in 2018. I plan on releasing a new price list at the start of January, opening up for TFF badge pre-orders, and opening for more commissions via journals at the start of the new year. For all those who have stuck with me this past year, even as I uploaded so little, thank you so much. For those who have recently found my page, you guys are awesome, too! Thank you all so very much for all that you do. <3
-Tigger
Digestive issues are awful. Back in 2014 (actually at my first TFF) I had back to back cases of either severe food poisoning or (more likely) E. Coli or something similar--the first and worst case of which was happening as I arrived at TFF. Later that year I started noticing that I felt terrible and had some issues I won't go into here after eating certain foods and that triggered a year of trying to figure out what was going on and becoming a nervous wreck about eating in general.
The best I and my gsstroenterologist could figure out was that lactose was the culprit. I ended up cutting it out of my diet, changing up the foods I ate to be healthier, and focusing on regular exercise. That went a long way towards helping, but another thing I've tried over the past year that really helped was being more proactive about stress management. It is crazy how much stress and digestive problems overlap.
Long story short don't give up hope and if you need to chat with someone who has gone through a similar (and frustrating) journey you know where to find me. :) Hopefully I can share some suggestions or ideas that will help.
Take care and best wishes for a much better 2018!
I'm so sorry you had to go through all those awful things too, though. If there's one thing I'd never wish on anyone, it's all these gastrointestinal problems... they often make me not even want to eat, just because I'm afraid of being sick later. So I definitely feel you there on being nervous just to eat or try new things. Near the start of the year, I even went on a three-ingredient diet for a month, slowly adding foods back, just to try and "find out" what foods in particular would make me sick. Ugh. Nothing but lemon pepper chicken and water for a month! And what's worse, as I added things back, some things wouldn't make me sick that would then make me sick a week later, or vice versa. Haven't been able to find any sort of consistency at all. :/
Thanks so much for sharing with me, it's awful that you have to suffer this as well but it's also nice to know that I have someone I can talk to about it. And yeah, stress is definitely a factor and one that has always been a difficult one for me to manage. But as long as I've got my eyes on the goal, I should be on the right track, even if I slip and fall sometimes. ^^'
You're awesome! :D
One thing I have been doing (that I actually found via an IBS forum) is eating oatmeal with 2 tbsp of flaxseed meal each morning (along with a daily probiotic--Jarro-Dophilus +FOS). Whether it was just a mental thing or not those seemed to help a bunch and created a lot more stability than I had before. Might be worth a shot! I'm even happy to recommend some recipes to make the oatmeal super tasty, heh.
And you're awesome! :D
Thanks so much for being there for me! <3
Here's to hoping the rest of your 2017 goes as well as it can, and that 2018 exceeds your expectations, with things continuing to trend upwards.
Thanks TiggerPup, I missed you at TFF this year, and I look forward to seeing you - and possibly getting another badge from you at TFF 2018!