Wow, a lot has changed in just a year for me!

I know I'm posting this late but I wanted to just take the time to reflect and think about what I wanted to write.


At the start of 2017 things were still rocky for me. As I moved into the year, I wanted things to change. Constantly the thought in my mind was, "I'm tired of where I am in life, and I need things to change now." I was working in a liquor store at the time, and absolutely hated it. At the end of January, my hours were cut down to 15 that entire week. Just enough for gas to get to work. I was pissed. 15 hours? To this day I could not believe I was going to work for peanuts. I went to the manager, and I did not approach him in a confronting manor, tone, or attitude, and simply asked "why are my hours being cut so bad?" to which he replied: "You live at home with your parents, so you don't really need the hours."

After hearing that, words could not describe my anger. I was basically told that they did not care about me one bit. And my response? "Well, I guess I don't really need this job then." And I walked out of the store, got in my car and left. I didn't get a call back or anything asking where I was. The last thing I got from that store was just my pay-stub that was mailed to me. That was it. They didn't care. The message they gave me was received loud and clear.



About 3 months later I was interviewed for a job at a lumber yard that was about 10 minutes away from where I lived. I interviewed with them, along with a number of other places that day as well, and the following day I was hired and the following week I started full-time with them. At first I was very nervous since I didn't know the lumber industry well, but I quickly started picking up on it. But I was pulled into their paint department and was told that this was going to be my department(since the previous person running it was quitting). I was very nervous because I had never been given such responsibility before in the past and now I was going to be running this particular spot. I was in charge of everything. Ordering, stocking, cleaning, etc etc... I knew nothing about paint, and was not taught much of anything before the person before me quit, so I began the hard task of teaching myself the product.

As the months progressed, I got better, dare I say I got good at selling and helping people choose the right stains, paints, and coating for their projects. Sales in paint at my store started increasing. Contractors started to trust me and depend on me. The outside sales reps for this lumber yard started to ask me for help with their customers' projects. My knowledge grew, and continues to grow, the more I studied and practiced as more and more customers came in.


Then 2017 ended, and I started to reflect.


At the beginning of 2017, before this place even knew I existed, I worked for a company that just saw me as a number. When ever I tried moving ahead I was told that I did not "possess" the skills necessary. When I asked for the tools to learn the "skills" to move ahead I was basically told that I was going to be a cashier and that was it. So I left after they hit the final nail in the coffin for me.

Now I work for the company that wants me to stay, is willing to help me achieve my goals, and help train me in anything to do better. Because of this change in career my self confidence went up, I'm not depressed anymore, and I'm finding the things I've wanted in life are starting to come my way. My friends have noticed I'm happy when ever I am home and noted that my bad days are between few and none.


I'm not sitting here trying to say look at how good my life is now, what I am saying is that I was ready for a change and I didn't know it was happening right in front of me. I didn't know how much control I have over my life until all this happened. People, you seriously have no idea how much we control our own lives. I'm finding out there are always ways out of terrible spots in life. We control our own lives, not everyone else. I was told I was going to be nothing and amount to nothing, now I run a paint department and I'm considered an expert at work. Fuck people who tell us what we can and can't be! This is one of the reasons why I became a furry!


For the first time in years, I am excited to say I can't wait to see what 2018 brings into my life. I feel as if I'm breathing in fresh air for the first time in many, many years.


I love my family, extended family, and my friends. Thanks for sticking with me through my dark times until I found the light to lead me out.