This journal is an attempt to explain how I feel, if I make any mistakes in this journal or apparently leave something out, please don't take it as if I'm lying. I have trouble remembering things and stuff, so please bear with me. So, I think I'm often very misunderstood, and I also have trouble understanding things. It seems when I talk to people and they attempt to get to know me, all they end up doing is seeing the mistakes I've made, and then end up seeing me as a mistake rather than trying to look past those mistakes and see me as a person. Those that do try to help don't seem to take into account that I have trouble understanding things, and just end up giving up on me because they believe I'm hopeless. I know I can't be the only one going through this. I've had some people blame me saying it's all my fault when they've made the same mistakes as well, and I've also had people apologize for everything they've done wrong, only to end up repeating it months later... I forgive those people who are just going through a rough time with me and stuff, and I'm sorry if I messed anything up. But, I don't forgive any of those people who incessantly libel me, or agree to any of the bad things those who libeled me said about me, especially those who have threatened to kill me. I can't help but feel as if I messed up, but it seems a lot of the shit that happened was either because I was unable to communicate properly, or I did something stupid either without thinking about the consequences, or I did think about the consequences but ended up with a different result rather than what was anticipated. I may have brought all this shit on myself, but it doesn't mean that I had intended to bring it down on me. I know that we all do make mistakes, but can't we just look past other's mistakes and try to get along? I know I might be hard to deal with in some cases, but it's because I have a mental disorder which makes me smart, although I have trouble communicating. I try my best to communicate, but I can't help but mess things up. I do have some friends that do acknowledge I mess up, but they don't hate me for it. Why can't I just be normal, and not mess things up? There's no such thing as being normal, and we all do make mistakes, it's just that we have to learn from them, yet sometimes we have trouble learning from them too. I feel like I'm just gonna be sitting here lonely all the time since I nearly lost everyone, and I'm just hoping I can get along with someone. Anyone want to join my Discord server? Just PM me if you do...