I can't sleep. I have been thinking about much and must put it down on paper to piece my thoughts together. Where to start? I've been thinking about what to do and where I want to go. Job Corps is a program that offers free training in a trade like construction, welding and computer technician. My other option is my only way too stay here at home. I must go back too school. Do I stay or do I go? Job Corps is so far across the U.S. Who knows where I will end up? I won't be able to have nothing with me. My computer and tablet yes, but so much more. I will be on my own for two whole years. I will have my freedom from home and can make my own rules..... But... at the same time.. I will have too leave so much behind. This town I couldn't give 2 damns about. I'm talking about what I do at home. I won't have no fridges to raid. No home cooked dinners, only shifty cafeteria food. I can't even cook myself because all I can use is a microwave. I will leave my little dog Scrap behind too. I will miss the little boy. No more Balto or Bolt plushy to have with me whilst I sleep. I can't risk taking them with me. They cost me a lot. I can't take my Xbox 360 too. No more games with my best bud. No more Soul Calibur. Whose gonna defeat Zinyak in Saints Row 4?? No more hysterical Youtube videos with my bud. I will have a roommate and crabby ass neighbors so I can't laugh loudly like I could here. No more duels. No more Fallout. No more Hound Dog CDs. Nothing fun too do and all alone because there will be no internet in the dorms. I will have too leave the comfort of my room too just say, "Hello ^^". I can't draw the... sexy stuff either because I will have a roommate with me who will prolly be up in my grill. Living off 25 dollars biweekly. Other shit things. Probably even training for a job I don't even want. All for my freedom on my own. To fill the adventurous need I have always wanted. Or if I choose to stay at home. School here and there. Frustrated. Going through classes worrying again whether i pass or fail. What if this even worsens my motivation too draw.. It's.... Bad enough as it is.. So.. What if school is expensive. I can't get a job. I can't after getting a soiled record. If I get student loans I will have to stress about school and paying it off. I will be at home too and it can be hard living at home sometimes. Which is why I isolate myself in my room. I dunno what to do. Do I want to leave all this behind for freedom and independence with me and me alone as my own boss? Or do I want to be here with everything staying the same? Whether the good, bad, stressing and down right fun? What if I go? Will I hate it? Once I go then i can't go back. Will I enjoy my freedom? What if I stay? What can I do too afford it? What if it's costy? What if I cam find some kind of financial help? No loans. Will o regret staying?.... I.. Lost my thoughts... Im to tired I guess. What happens now can be only be those two. I will always keep in mind that, though I may not have a lot of friends, I have the truest and supportive friends I could ever have. And I always will have my homie havin' my back. Whatever happens from here on will be on my terms. My say and my say alone. Not my mother ordering me. Not my brother forcing me. My grandparents begging me to stay and my little sister holding me back telling me to please not too go. Zalle Kuribu needs to make a decision on his own. Will all these be worth freedom? Will it not? No one has no say in this. It's just me.