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An Actual Review of Fire Emblem Warrior's story
7 years ago
Swiggity-swag
The story itself is pretty much an excuse plot, but whatever. I'd warn you about spoilers, but the plot is so inconsequential, it really doesn't matter.
Not-Alfonse and Not-Sharena are having fun doing sword things with Lord Darios, the prince from a nearby kingdom and their trustworthy friend who would never betray them, until suddenly the fire nation attacks and their mom probably dies or whatever. Now Not-Alfonse and Not-Sharena need to find the 5 heroes from other worlds with Gleamstones inside of them to complete their magic shield that totally won't cause the apocalypse. For some reason they find the cast of Awakening, and there's like 4 levels basically summarizing that game's plot. Turns out Chrom has a gleamstone in him. Robin is just as much of a protagonist in that game, but Chrom is the main lord, so it makes sense. You think "Oh, ok. One stone from the lord from each game. That's why Robin doesn't get one, even though he's technically royalty too." Then we get into Fates characters, and about 50% of the playable units. Xander, Ryoma, and Corrin all have Gleamstones inside of them. I mean, sure I spent a lot of time in the "Fates" levels, but that's fucking cheating. One per game, damn it! Different versions don't count. Corrin is the main lord of Fates, period. So, we suddenly go from 1 out of 5 to 4 out of 5. Then a level happens and Marth shows up. He's obviously number 5. Marth takes everyone to a pretty cool level where the wonder twins get their personal weapons that just so happen to be monster killing weapons. Perfect for the last quarter of the game :D. Suddenly Darios betrays them and everyone is shocked even though Takumi totally fucking called it. Actually, no one except the wonder twins is surprised in the slightest. So some more shit happens and a dragon is summoned. Which sucks, because neither the Falchion nor the twins weapons are super effective against it. So then there's a final boss and everyone goes home. The end.
My biggest question is why is half the game about Fates? Why are 3 of the Gleamstones in Fates characters, and yet I need to go through a bunch of bullshit to unlock Celica and Lyn? Why couldn't they be in the story mode? The game is pretty much "Awakening-Fates Warriors", considering how much of the series it ignores. Ike would've been perfect for this game. Hector would have worked great. Dorcas would have at least been an axe unit, and this game has a serious deficit of those.
Not-Alfonse and Not-Sharena are having fun doing sword things with Lord Darios, the prince from a nearby kingdom and their trustworthy friend who would never betray them, until suddenly the fire nation attacks and their mom probably dies or whatever. Now Not-Alfonse and Not-Sharena need to find the 5 heroes from other worlds with Gleamstones inside of them to complete their magic shield that totally won't cause the apocalypse. For some reason they find the cast of Awakening, and there's like 4 levels basically summarizing that game's plot. Turns out Chrom has a gleamstone in him. Robin is just as much of a protagonist in that game, but Chrom is the main lord, so it makes sense. You think "Oh, ok. One stone from the lord from each game. That's why Robin doesn't get one, even though he's technically royalty too." Then we get into Fates characters, and about 50% of the playable units. Xander, Ryoma, and Corrin all have Gleamstones inside of them. I mean, sure I spent a lot of time in the "Fates" levels, but that's fucking cheating. One per game, damn it! Different versions don't count. Corrin is the main lord of Fates, period. So, we suddenly go from 1 out of 5 to 4 out of 5. Then a level happens and Marth shows up. He's obviously number 5. Marth takes everyone to a pretty cool level where the wonder twins get their personal weapons that just so happen to be monster killing weapons. Perfect for the last quarter of the game :D. Suddenly Darios betrays them and everyone is shocked even though Takumi totally fucking called it. Actually, no one except the wonder twins is surprised in the slightest. So some more shit happens and a dragon is summoned. Which sucks, because neither the Falchion nor the twins weapons are super effective against it. So then there's a final boss and everyone goes home. The end.
My biggest question is why is half the game about Fates? Why are 3 of the Gleamstones in Fates characters, and yet I need to go through a bunch of bullshit to unlock Celica and Lyn? Why couldn't they be in the story mode? The game is pretty much "Awakening-Fates Warriors", considering how much of the series it ignores. Ike would've been perfect for this game. Hector would have worked great. Dorcas would have at least been an axe unit, and this game has a serious deficit of those.
