APPLIED & APPROVED!!!
8 years ago
General
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☆ , 。.・☆★ H e y . E v e r y o n e ! ・★☆.。,☆
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Yusha! Just like the title tells~ :D
Yesterday I went to apply for the exams for a degree I need. And I got approved for the exams~ !!!
The first one of 7 exams will be mid-april. So still some time until then. But ofcourse I am not going to spend the time until then doing nothing. I still got plenty of studying to do! And if I am done with any subject, then it's on to the stuff for the next degree anyway. :P
The downside to that though: Much less art still. Basically, forget about me posting plenty for forever from now on. It just doesn't work... And the amount of studying I'll need will increase the next years aswell. Sometimes I wonder for how much longer I can keep art up as a thing. -sigh-
So obviously, I am not as happy as it might sounded in the beginning. I guess it's time for you all to forget about me... x.x
Gotta try to finished the commissions I still owe during this month. I am sorry for the long wait...
Waiting for your replies! ♥
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☆ , 。.・☆★ B u g . B a c k . T o . D r a w i n g ! ・★☆.。,☆
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Und das schaffst auch schon noch, nur nicht aufgeben und ehrlich dran bleiben, dann wird das auch was - man kann (fast) alles schaffen, wenn man nur will :3
Hehe, schaffen ist das Eine, muss aber noch etwas mehr als 'nur Schaffen' sein. xD
It's not like I don't want those degrees, since I need them for the job I want. But to have so little time to draw is making me have a hard time. It's just so important to me. D:
I can not agree on the 'real life stuff is more important' though. Because art is not a fictional thing for an artist. It is a part of one's real life. And for some it is as important as food or sleep or meeting friends/family are. For me the lack of time for drawing is a loss of life quality...
There are no other luxuries in my life. I got no hobbies and there is nothing I can think of I would want as hobby. I got no family to spend time with, nor friends that live nearby. I don't like watching movies and almost never find a book I enjoy. I don't like sports because I keep getting hurt and sick from it. I am often not even finding much joy in gaming, since pokemon is basically the only franchise I still enjoy. My life simply is based on art. All I build up and achived the past years is based on drawing... There is no way this is not 'real life' in my life. >.<
While I like your thought of using the time for practising, which I would like to do, I gotta say that this is no good idea... I obverseved it countless times, for truly successful artists to be gone for a while, and for people not to care about them anymore when they returned. Some people with 20-40+k followers just left for a year, and when they came back they couldn't even fill 2-3 commissions slots, because people moved on. There's an artist who once took hundreds of bucks for a picture at ease, and after a break they took they had to switch to selling for less than 50bucks... People move on quickly. So many do. >.< And I need art as an extra source of income ever so often.
Hence why I said that practicing sounds nice and so, but is no good idea... I already noticed it in the past - when I drew a lot there were a lot of people wanting to buy from me. I could do something in times of need, and even got praise for what I did! But... When I took a break for practising and came back, all the people once interested were gone. I also struggle so badly finding clients nowadays, which doesn't help my overall situation when in need of money. Not being able to do a damn thing is one thing, but for one's work to also not be wanted is outright painful - atleast for me.
Obviously, this is much more of a problem to me than I assume it should. Since it's 'just art' we talk about... But then again, what am I? Not able to work, not able to get by by myself, not even able to draw what I want to draw - hah - I live off other people's praise for my work, and I am dying more and more without it... I guess I always had been doing everything wrong...
Balance really is a difficult thing achive, no doubt. And getting by by drawing is aswell, hence why I would like to go to college and study for a proper job. But honestly? Right now my 'classic' education is everything but classic. Hell, I have to study by myself at home because I don't qualify for any schools... So even if I try to get the basics I am still far away from classic it seems, haha. ^^;
But it stays a fact that all that I ever managed to achive so far is linked to art. It definitely is one of the foundations of my life. So I gotta figure out a way not to lose it. That will do anything but help. But knowing that there are people who want to stay here and wait, even if I am gone for a while, definitely lowers my anxiety on this topic. Really Thanks so much. ♥
Es gibt immer irgendetwas, bestimmt lässt sich da auch was verknüpfen und es lernt sich leichter. Das ist ganz oft so, aber
leider nicht immer. Nein, das vergisst du mal schön! Ich - für meinen Teil - werde dich nicht vergessen. Wie könnte ich? ;x;
(Obwohl meine Vergesslichkeit auch stetig steigt...) Das mit der Kunst, ja meine Güte das läuft dir nicht weg, es sei denn,
du hast es so trainiert, dass die Kunst das echt könnte. Also, weglaufen. Man hört ja die verrücktesten Dinge, vom geheimen
Leben alltäglicher Gegenstände... O.ô
Ich denke schon, dass sich alles wieder legen wird. Hauptsache ist, dass du dich dabei nicht selbst vergisst und am Ende zu einem
seelischen Wrack wirst. Lass niemals alles über dich herrschen, sondern herrsche stets selbst über die Situation. Und am Ende kann
eine kleine Skizze - und wenn sie noch so gekrikelt sein mag - alles wieder richten. Wenn der Kopf also mal wieder voll ist, einfach
zeichnen, das könnte helfen :)
Weißt du, ich habe das einfach so oft gesehen, und auch schon selber erlebt. Leute mit Erfolg waren mal ein Jahr weg, und auf einmal schien sie niemand mehr zu kennen. Ein Bild für einige hunderte Euro? Klar! Ein paar Jahre weg, und mehr wie 50 Euro sind nicht mehr drin? Bei gleicher/besserer Qualität? Tausende Kommentare bei zehntausenden Followers, und ein Jahr Pause und 10-20 Kommentare werden zum Rekord. Und die Personen von denen ich hier spreche waren wirklich sehr bekannt. Ich bin es nicht, und dennoch habe ich es auch erlebt. Viel geposted in geringer Qualität - viele Nachfragen nach Commishes. Pause zum Üben und besser werden genommen, ein paar Monate später - keiner wollte mehr kaufen.
Und ich bin immer wieder auf diese Arbeit angewiesen, da ich sonst nicht arbeiten kann. Dinge auf die ich spare, medizinische Behandlungen wohl bemerkt, werden für mich nie möglich sein wenn dieses Einkommen völlig entfällt... Obwohl ich diese Dinge inzwischen eh immer mehr aufgebe... Es läuft einfach immer und immer schlechter, und es wird nicht besser werden wenn ich noch weniger present bin...
''Und am Ende kann eine kleine Skizze - und wenn sie noch so gekrikelt sein mag - alles wieder richten.'' Klingt gut. Aber ich hasse meine Skizzen. Unendlich. Also wenn ich etwas mit meinen Skizzen schaffe, dann mich scheiße zu fühlen. Und wenn ich sie doch mal mag, und sie nicht beenden kann, entsteht nur neuer Frust...
Es ist wirklich egal was ich mache, die Dinge werden nicht mehr besser werden. Ich sollte mich allmählich entscheiden was ich aufgeben muss...
Aber Danke dir für den Versuch mich aufzuheitern. -knuddel-
You've been a real pleasure. Kick some ass and take your place in the real world again -- and whenever you come back, we'll be ready with a hug. Love ya.
Thanks, really. It's just... All that I ever managed to achive so far is linked to art. It definitely is one of the foundations of my life. And to lose 'drawing' is like loosing life quality to me. So this is incredibly hard to balance out. Even more now that I live all on my own, it's so hard. Everything is.Those hugs to come back to better be a real thing dear. ♥
Love ya too. ♥