I'll make sure to reread the chapters so far and give you comments later. Could be me though but it did feel a bit disjointed so far

Disjointed ? how ?

So, read through it again.
First and foremost: It is well written, very well at that. A few minor hickups with capital letters on names but that's nothing to detract from the story at large.

The disjointed feel i'd say comes from the episodic nature.

Everything else would be totally subjective so don't take it that serious:

I feel that the story, from what is out so far, won't quite deliver on it's buildup. Or at least not in a way that i would find satisfying.




It is a good story, well written. Something i'd rather read as a book or in a pulp magazine so far.

Yeah the episodic / cliffhanger thing is because its really a spoof of old movie serials, mostly "King of the Rocketmen"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bURVucWS68&list=PLFB5E11EE19A025AF

Yeah I kinda slipped up on Capital Letters of things like Butler and Uncle

Just posted the 5th ep with 2 more to go, hope you'll like the final ending [ep7] what would you consider "Satisfying" ?

As i am already rather picky with my hypno stories i'd rather keep quite about that. If anything i'd like you to concentrate on it being a good story so far.

Ah Ok, I hope you'll like the rest of it anyway [I'm happy with the ending but you'll see it soon as there's just 2 left]

tomorrows penultimate episode is "Victory Or Defeat On 42nd Street"