I'm going through my backlog and realizing that I've kept a lot of you waiting for years now. I'm in a much better place than I was, thankfully, and now have a stable home where I will be living indefinitely, rather than needing to move once or twice [or three times] per year. I am paying my bills and rent on time and successfully supporting myself through my art, which has been a dream of mine for more than half my life.

However, I have had a backlog literally since I started doing commissions when I was 18. I'm now 29.5 and I desperately want this to change, ideally before my 30th birthday in September. I'm working through my backlog as quickly as I can without sacrificing quality. I have about 50-60 commissions to do, paid for recently or up to 5 years past due. I'm getting through at least two per night lately [though sometimes more or less depending on how complex each commission is].

I often say that I'm fine with giving refunds. This has always been the case, but I want to make it clear that I will not be upset with you if you ask for one. I know it's hard to confront anyone, let alone someone who owes you something. There are many out there who, when asked for refunds, will throw tantrums or refuse to give you your money back OR the art. That is not me. I will never hold this against you, I will not blacklist you, I will not cuss you out, and I'm certainly not trying to scam you.

Of note, part of this is that I realize that you can develop resentment, even if not for the artist, possibly for the art itself. I don't want to create something that just makes you feel upset when you look at it. That's not fun for you OR me. My goal is to make people happy, it's one of the things that keeps me going in life.

Right now, I'm working about 12 hours a day, and have been doing so for the last few weeks [with only a couple days off]. I have severe depression and anxiety, both of which I'm medicated for and am in constant communication with my doctor. While this does alleviate a lot of the symptoms, everyone has bad days and, unfortunately, my bad days can be debilitating. There have been times in the past year where I spent weeks in bed, mostly sleeping, not eating, etc. But I'm slowly learning coping mechanisms and things to help and motivate me even when I'm having a particularly bad day/week/month.

I have been in one of my downswings for the past month, and I'm still trying my hardest. I'm still working for at least 3 hours a day, and sometimes as many as 18 hours. I'm not using my illness as an excuse, I'm constantly working harder and setting goals for myself, and that feels really nice. :) I'm doing so much better than I was even a year ago. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

So if you have a commission with me and you're tired of waiting or you want results soon, please either ask me for a deadline or a refund. Either way works for me, I just want you to be happy and I want to get this backlog off my shoulders as soon as I can.

<3