Hello there abyss that I call my journals, may you bring as much insight about myself as I would want you to provide me with.

I've been really lonely lately. I mean not physically lonely, I see my girlfriend all the time and I have friends in my Uni. I mean I feel lonely because of this little world I have made for myself in Fur Affinity. I've never felt so free from the world but at the same time I wish I didn't have this freedom. What I mean to say is that I can feel true to myself here yet I can't show who I am with the real world without shame.

I can't really talk to my friends without my Goblins being some sort of joke. I get it, i know its weird but I feel like they would just rather be off with me if I did not draw it. I only legitimately feel close to two of my friends cause they themselves draw nsfw art all the time, I barely get to see them though. I think the part that hurts the most is not being able to feel pride in it as much as I would want to. Like "Hey I just talked with a really good artists I've been following for a while!!" or "Yo my drawing got 5 favorites!!!" its more like I'm telling this to myself. I always tend to be very excited for things that happen to my friends and I hear them out but when it's me its as if they just want to get the conversation over with.

Damn I really wish all of this weren't taboo

Gone Goblin, day 29