Relationships and I
7 years ago
I've had a few people talk to me lately about relationships, sex and stuff.
I tell these people I've never really experienced that kind of stuff before, and people go "But you're a good looking guy" or/and, "you draw fantastic art! How do you not get any girls?"
First off, I'm not that great looking or that interesting as a person. Not being self-conscious of myself btw, I'm absolutely fine with whatever I've been given. I just know I haven't got much to offer on the dating side of things, and honestly don't mind it one bit.
I've only been in one relationship, which was from 2008-2010. I would've been about ages 13-15. The girl in the said relationship actually asked me out. I never thought to do any like that. I did like her, but teenage relationships and the feelings/emotions involved is far less serious than a adult relationship is. Saying that though, two and a half years is pretty decent knowing the majority of relationships during school don't often come anywhere near that far. Since September '10, I've been single ever since, and to be quite honest been happy for the most part.
Also, a bit of TMI here, I'm a virgin believe it or not. Almost 23 and I haven't had one sexual encounter. Not even close to having it. You'd think that with all the adult artwork I draw, I'd have some kind of sex life to whatever certain point. But no, none whatsoever.
People asked whether I've considered having anything casual. I hate to be involved in a causal sexual relationship or a one night stand. To me that feels way too empty. Also with more and more people being not loyal in today's world, whether that be cheating or being in those open relationship things. I'd just feel as though that me by myself, won't be enough to satisfy another woman.
I would like sex to be something special if I was to ever have it, I would prefer to be with someone that I was having a serious relationship with. Someone that I can personally trust with something like that.
But that's where the problem comes in. The main reason is that, I just find it very difficult to find interest in someone. I've never gotten that notion when seeing another girl and think "You're pretty, I wanna date you!". I've never been interested in looking, it's something I've never had on my mind as an objective of some kind.
Maybe it's because I don't trust people in general, particularly with girls as funny as it is. I don't have many friends that are girls. Maybe about 5 or so at the very best (excluding females in my family that is, then again your family are your greatest friends). With any who I am friends with, I usually try to have conversations as occasionally as possible. Otherwise I feel like that they're thinking I'm coming onto them or something. Some I feel I know too well to go out with, I'd rather not ruin a friendship. Most females I feel I'm not able to connect with, like most people in general.
I don't like people, I don't get people. I think the people in this world today, particularly people of my age group, is a very mean population. Hence why I'm very introverted and rarely ever leave my bedroom, unless it's something I feel I'm obligated to come out for (eg. dinner). My social life is very non-existent apart from the very small group of people I keep in contact with.
Also, for those wondering "Have you thought about men?", I have no feelings towards men at all, emotionally or sexually. To be frank, I'd find that me being in a relationship with another man would seem quite obnoxious. I feel that emotions could clash quite easily.
People might wonder, don't I yearn for either of these things?
No, not really.
Whether it's my autism, whether it's my social anxiety, whether it's something else in that interesting cranium of mine. I don't know what it is. Might just be secretly a dark human being
But I don't mind at all a being a single pringle or a virgin. I'd honestly much rather be alone, than most likely dating someone because it was a "good enough" find.
I don't know if there's someone actually out there for me that's the actual right one, or if I'm the one for anyone. Who knows, one day to my surprise I might find someone.
Either way I don't care.
I'm very much resigned to the fact of me being, as they say, forever single. And I'm okay with that. I've been okay with that for a long time.
There are much more things I find more important in my life to focus my attention towards, including just living my life itself. I have my friends, my family (even though I don't converse with them much). I have my job which is also my passion, in doing artwork and design.
So many things I find more enjoyable in life than being with someone.
That's just me.
Anyways, hope you all are having a brilliant day/evening. I should have some more art up soon, so that's something for you lot to look forward too ^.^
~Peace out~
Chaossal
~chaossal
There is nothing wrong with that, a lot of people don't like to be alone so will just grab on to anyone easy but I think its a lot better to be good with just yourself and only get in a relationship if you click really good with that person.

Sounds exactly familiar. Aspergers? Because who needs emotions! Got about the exact same outlook, zero irl social life, don't care about male/female because its irrelevant. You may find someone with the same kind of function, problem is such people, are exactly the same and don't seek others out hah! You can still define a relationship without any major emotional or intimate things, if you happen to.
Sevren2112
~sevren2112
Nothing wrong with being single, a virgin, not interested in relationships, anything like that mate. In fact, it's probably good that you're so open about it and ok with it =) In the end, you never know where life takes you.
CoyoteJeeper7
~coyotejeeper7
I see much of the same from people who think pursuing a relationship is the only way to be happy. I know they mean well, but I'm perfectly content without a partner. I've explained it time and time again.
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KlausD
Anthropornorphic