so for the longest time, since i declared one of my top favorite artists dead to me i've lost my motivation and drawing was har. i couldn't think of ideas, couldn't draw them and damn well could get myself to even start them.

a few months ago i got back in touch with an old friend and i couldn't stop myself from darwing. i was doing like 2 pictures a day. but then that only lasted like a few weeks before i went and ruined that friendship like i have so many others i cared about. guess i didn't care enough if i did what i knew i would always do and ruin everything i work for.

that was like a few months ago, but since then i think i've drawn one picture and one sketch. other than that i just sit here with a sketchbook in front of me and i just sigh at it.

i didn't just lose the motivation i had gotten, but i lost more than i had gained. so i feel like i should just give up on art. which is sad because of how much money i spent on all the supplies i have.