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SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING SO ACTIVE LATELY
7 years ago
General
How do you do, fellow kids I hate to sound like a stereotypical depressed artist, because I really don't want to give people the impression that I am sad or lonely or anything like that, but I am not doing too well mentally. Things with school, family, my irl friends, and my lack of will to do anything have been getting to me much more lately, and I haven't really had time to draw too much.....actually, that's bullshit, I haven't had much willpower to draw very much, or at least I think.I really wish drawing here on FA was something I can do as my source of finance, but I know that is probably an impossibility due to the fact that I live in a good part of Southern California and it is WAYYYYY to expensive to live here at my rate for now (Don't worry, this is not a passive-aggressive way of begging for commissions, it's just me talking). School just keeps crawling on top of me, making me buy more materials that i will almost never use later when art classes are done, and I have so many assignments to work on outside of school as well. I am only in my second semester of community college, and from how I am now, I don't know if I will even be able to handle life at this point, how do people do it, I will never know. I hate saying that I am busy, I hate that word!!! It is just another way of saying "I have stuff more important than you" in my eyes, which I hate telling people because I don't want people to think that I don't want to be around them, because that is clearly not the case. I dream for the day I can sit down for a few hours and draw something phenomenal, but I can't do that, at times, I start drawing at midnight, I put my pencil on the tablet, I made the outlining, coloring, and some shading, then I look outside to see the sky is blue again, are drawings supposed to take this long because I don't know what I am doing wring. Sorry, I don't mean to sound so uneasy, but that's basically me rn. School will be over soon, considering it's almost June, but life is getting to me pretty fast. If you are one of my friends on discord, and you see this, you will know exactly why I have not been talking too much and catching up with you as much as I normally do. I need help, and therapy never does anything for me. I know my parents are here but I don't wanna burden them with my emotional crap anymore, I am 19 and I should handle stuff myself at this point.......which....is why I am posting this journal.....wow this makes zero sense why this wall of text is here, huh........fuck.......welp......if anybody was wondering where I was for the past few days to a week or two or so, that's what has been going on with me. Again, sorry for sounding so unhappy, I want to make people happy but I am at a state where I feel like I can't do that without looking fake. Sorry about all this, I hope I will be better soon.
you should take a breather....but remember that we as your friends are here for you
Thank you so much, dude. I am happy to be your friend ;3
Anytime pal
Just take a breather and well I was at that stage like you too. Just focus on the important things first, I mean, I bet people here can wait, your stuff is nice