Boston Market is one of my favorite fast food joints. I like their chicken, love their sides, and have rarely had a bad experience there. I decided to get food there this past weekend and noted a new advertisement for prime rib.

Prime rib is one of my personal favorite meals. I have fond memories of it growing up; it was the occasional treat, plus my father would cook one for Christmas every year.

Most foods run a gamut of possible qualities ranging from bad, through mediocre and okay, up to superb. Prime rib does not do this. It has two possibilities. It is either excellent or awful. Salmon is another such food.

So knowing that this is a fast food chain, abeit a good one, attempting a meal that does not have any margin for error, I did not expect it to be good at all. Still, I figured I'd gamble. I've been plesantly surprised by fast food joints serving things that were far better than they had any right to (see Arby's brisket sandwiches).

I had to wait a few days as it was only advertised as available on Sunday and Wednesday. Since I was there on Saturday and not going to Boston Market two days in a row, Wednesday it was. It was also only available after 5, so it would be dinner.

These time restrictions were actually a good sign. Prime rib is a roast. You have to cook a lot of it at once. The restrictions on the time pointed that that was what they were doing, not just reheating pre-sliced steaks.

I arrived at Boston Market shortly after 5 tonight (Wednesday) to what fate I had selected for myself. After ordering the worker asked if I wanted it medium rare or well. I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't restricted to the latter. They passed that test. I was not surprised they did not have the full spectrums of temperatures available, restricting it to the two most common (also categorized as 'right' and 'wrong' respectively). I answered that question correctly.

The steak that was put on my plate was a beauty. Gorgeously pink, close to the rare side of things it seemed. I was very pleased at the sight. It was a bit thin compared to my preferred cut, but I had not expected much. I got my preferred sides, mashed potatoes and creamed spinach, got my drink, and sat down. They also had an actual steak knife for me so that was another pleasant surprise.

I tasted the crusty outside first. It had a very nice peppery spiced shell, always a good sign. And the fat of the thing was perfect (I'm odd in that I like eating steak fat). So then it was time to dig in to the steak itself.

Now I have to emphasize how good it looked and how much my expectations were set up to be pleasantly surprised. Because the whole reason for me writing this journal is how amazing it is that they made a steak that looked so good yet tasted so terrible.

This was one of the most dry and tough pieces of meat I'd ever had. I dumped the whole cup of aus jous they gave on it in a futile attempt to improve it. I had predicted it to be bad but somehow had not expected it to even be on this level of awful. I tried to imagine the reasons for it. It tasted like it had been cooled and reheated multiple times. If so how did they keep it that pink color? Did they somehow dye one of well done pieces pink? I realized it was an end piece, maybe that was the cause? But the back surface didn't have the good peppery crust of the sides? And how do you get one of the end pieces to be medium rare in the first place. Your medium pieces come from the center and the well pieces the ends because of how heat transfer works.

So yeah, that was the experience. So just in case anyone was considering trying it as a lark, don't. Learn from my folly.