at this point it seems getting out of college for the summer wasn't a push in the right direction with art, now it's the opposite. i felt less with art as well as i have been job hunting for the situation at home, I don't like making excuses i wanna be on top of things but forcing it isn't something i can mentally do now as much as i tried.

Before in college, i had no time but all the focus just to draw and practice, now that I'm out, i have all the time, but no focus. it's gone, like something that tells me i been wanting to draw for so long is gone. My mind has been overthinking, feeling too many things and worse been self-guilting myself. I need to find ways to relax or to keep myself busy, i need to take care of me but i don't wanna give up art, i don't wanna fall behind.

I think i may issue refunds if commissioners are accepting or willing to wait some more. I hate it when things like this happen in a dire situation, i just wish i did better before and now.