Well, today's my birthday. I was watching some videos a few days ago and I kinda think I understand what might be wrong with me now. The video was about the difference between psychopaths and sociopaths, and they mentioned one trait a sociopath has that I think I have. The trait I think I have is that I understand the difference between right and wrong, but I think of it differently than normal people. For instance, I had one friend who harrassed me over something I didn't feel was wrong at all, and one of my best friends was friends with them. I had asked my best friend to leave that person (who was one of their best friends), because I felt she didn't deserve to have a friend who harrassed others like that, and I also feared that "friend" would harrass them as well. This was a bad move, and she eventually left me because I messed up so much. I was hoping she might try to be my friend again for my birthday, and I've been sad about it since last year. Another way I messed up was the last time we were Role-playing, she had said she wasn't enjoying it and I didn't properly think how to respond and made the stupid mistake of telling her I was enjoying it rather than asking her something such as what was wrong or how I could make it more enjoyable. Recently I've kinda been having dreams that I might see them again soon, but I'm not sure when. I would often go to sleep and cry, seeing myself as a failure. Anyway, I'll just say I'm glad it's my birthday, but it just feels like every other day. I hope I get lots of love, but I'm not really expecting any, because everyone just seems disinterested in me...