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Status: Melancholy

█ Today I said "night night" one last time to my dog. She was over 14 years old (basically 100 in dog years), and was part of a good chunk of my life. Complications from colon cancer ultimately led to her having unbearable pain and the family had to let her go. The past couple of months and past couple of week I've been doing my best to take care of her needs, and she had the strength and energy to take walks up until the last 24 hours of her life when her health took a steep dive. I massaged her sides as she struggled until she could relax, but it wasn't something that was going to get better and she struggled throughout the course of the day. We had hoped she would last long enough for her to be able to pass at the house, but since it was a long weekend it had to be done at the veterinary hospital. As a family we let her go together. I had a dream a few days earlier that she was with my grandmother, so I asked my dog to keep her company. It's a nice thought to have.

She had quite the personality, and perhaps well spoiled as she'd get bored of food after two days. She'd turn her head at leftovers, or even freshly cooked food if it was the same thing on the third day. It was kinda funny to see her refuse a porkchop or piece of chicken simply because she had it two days in a row already. The exception was beef, she always liked it. She was a Siberian Husky, so I never was worried about her killing herself with bones; she was rather smart about eating such things. Part of the reason I suspect was because she was used to eating 'people' food, so was probably able to pace herself better. Another interesting side effect of this was that often she'd prefer petting and attention over food. I'd sometimes hold food in one hand in front of her face while giving her rubs, and even though she wanted the food she'd hold off taking it as long as possible because she valued the attention more. It probably helped a lot that she was seldom ever alone, so she never developed separation anxiety; she got used to people coming and going in and out of the household. She loved winter much like I do, so I'm glad that winter stayed a little bit longer this year so she got to enjoy the snow for that much longer.

I think I might have been the favorite person she liked walking with, probably because I would kind of enable her; whenever she ran I would do my best to keep a good pace on the leash, when she was younger I ended up doing a kind of a skip that she'd drag me along with so I didn't have to run myself ragged keeping up without being dragged down. I tried leashing her to my bike a few times, but that was always scary. Perhaps in another life I would have tried using a small wagon or something. In the end I would usually let her choose where to go for a bit before turning around and heading home, I often didn't plan out a set path so I'd let her choose and she seldom would take the same path twice in a row (unless it was to specifically pester some neighborhood dogs).

Other quirks here and there was she didn't like to be groomed, and course she had to be since she shed a lot. Didn't like people who would try to go for her nails, or cut at the knots and clumps in her fur; always had to do a bit of distracting when it came to that. This of course also made giving her baths rather tricky. Sneezes for a long while would make her concerned for the person, immediately giving them attention with this 'are you okay?' look and sniffing at the air. She didn't like people blowing her face, seemed to be a pet peeve; who knows, maybe it was just because of bad breath. Loved car rides, but seems like most dogs do. Lightning scared her, either going to someone for company or hiding in the basement.

I'm happy to have had her in my life and I have many fond memories, including one of where she got 'revenge' on a skunk; as during one of my walks she went straight into a bush and got the skunk in her mouth before it was able to spray her. So she came out of that encounter mostly unskunked, the skunk did get away in the end; but she got so little of the spray on herself that the rest of the family didn't really notice unless they got really up close, unlike the previous encounter with a skunk where she was smelly for quite some time.

If for some reason you wonder why I don't mention her name, it's well people have a tendency to use pet names for various passwords or hints, and my family isn't an exception. I'm writing this all down so I have a point of reference to remember the bits and pieces of her that photos and videos will miss. That and it helps to process things when they're written down. I'll be okay, and I'll remember the good times as long as I can. R.I.P. she who was born on Valentine's Day and passed on Canada Day.