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Another Day
7 years ago
After 24 hours very little can, or does, change. It is for that exact reason that I will never understand those who keep a daily journal. Yes, there are events that change with each day but what is there of note in the monotony of each passing day?
That being said, I thought it would be good to try to keep some sort of consistent input going. As of yet I'm not quite up to putting anything else out there, so for now this will have to do.
I wonder how many others out there feel trapped. At current, I find myself desperate for a change to pace and scenery but lacking resources to change either. There are so many around me who are focused on one thing and I have myself touched on the subject they pursue but with less than half of their enthusiasm.
What it comes down to is that age old question: What do you want to do? I don't bring that up in the rhetorical sense either. That question gets posed to all of us with such regularity that I have been forced to give it serious thought. The problem I have arrived at is that I truly have no idea what I want to do. In order to survive in this cursed world I have to keep doing things I do not love. Those things I hate provide the resources to survive and I mean that literally. I eat most of my money (and what I don't turn into tacos my vehicle turns into insurance payments, fuel and repair bills). The things I love to do have no prayer of providing any sort of resource other than a smile or two.
So, the question becomes this: What am I supposed to do? I have all these people around me who seem to be charging forwards with such certainty and determination and I'm still sitting here wondering what I'm supposed to do. It is beyond frustrating and I wish desperately that I knew what to do about it. Yet every time I take into consideration the options I have at my disposal, nothing pans out.
How can you change your world when you can't even change yourself?
That being said, I thought it would be good to try to keep some sort of consistent input going. As of yet I'm not quite up to putting anything else out there, so for now this will have to do.
I wonder how many others out there feel trapped. At current, I find myself desperate for a change to pace and scenery but lacking resources to change either. There are so many around me who are focused on one thing and I have myself touched on the subject they pursue but with less than half of their enthusiasm.
What it comes down to is that age old question: What do you want to do? I don't bring that up in the rhetorical sense either. That question gets posed to all of us with such regularity that I have been forced to give it serious thought. The problem I have arrived at is that I truly have no idea what I want to do. In order to survive in this cursed world I have to keep doing things I do not love. Those things I hate provide the resources to survive and I mean that literally. I eat most of my money (and what I don't turn into tacos my vehicle turns into insurance payments, fuel and repair bills). The things I love to do have no prayer of providing any sort of resource other than a smile or two.
So, the question becomes this: What am I supposed to do? I have all these people around me who seem to be charging forwards with such certainty and determination and I'm still sitting here wondering what I'm supposed to do. It is beyond frustrating and I wish desperately that I knew what to do about it. Yet every time I take into consideration the options I have at my disposal, nothing pans out.
How can you change your world when you can't even change yourself?
